In which I am miserable and grieve for Torchwood

[galadriel1010]

I've spent the last year and a half in serious denail about Torchwood. I have Jacks and Iantos all over the place, in varying states of relationship settlement and happiness, different developments of Torchwood, different ways that the 456's visit was dealt with or not. It's been a great place to be, and I could stay there quite happily, hoping that the powers that be would get it and bring Ianto back and bring Torchwood back to Cardiff and I would be able to go back to it and go on with it.

Every single thing that I have seen about Miracle Day has damaged this, because Torchwood is moving on, but that's not... Torchwood. Torchwood was black and silver, dark but with sparkles, happiness and loyalty winning through despite everything. Children of Earth ripped that down and I chose to ignore it. Miracle Day is the show I loved as much as Torchwood was Doctor Who.

Since rm's awesome post and essay on grief and mourning for characters (which you should definitely read), I've been back through the spoilery reaction thread I was part of and actually laughed at our reactions. All the shiny shiny hope beforehand, the way we dismissed the rumours of Ianto's demise as ridiculous, the way I got drunk and squeed... the first time I can remember swearing on the internet when it all came crashing down and the denial with which we approached Day 5 (surely it couldn't be that nihilistic?) and then, at the end, the chorus of "they have to bring him back in the next series. They have to see that it makes sense."

We were right, and we were wrong. For Torchwood to continue as it was, it made sense for Ianto to come back. But what they did was ended the series in death and desperation...

And now they're starting a new show with the same name. Do I want to be a part of that?

Would you buy a ticket for a boat called The Titanic?

I can't give up hope that we'll get Torchwood back as it was. But I have to let go of how tightly I was holding it and grieve for the fact that I'll probably never see another new episode.

But get over it? Get over Torchwood?

Maybe. About 100 years after people stop writing Sherlock Holmes fanfiction.

Comments

[citrinesunset.livejournal.com]

I hear you. I've been in denial a bit, too. Though to be honest, at this point I feel like I'm getting over Torchwood.

Which is both good and bad. Bad, because I don't want to be over Torchwood, because it was a lot of fun and my first "real" fandom. And I still love the first two seasons. But good, because I was worried that when news came out about Miracle Day, it'd sound interesting and I'd be tempted to watch and then I'd get more disappointed. But so far nothing has tempted me. I get that a lot of people are excited about it, but I just don't see it.

I'm more sad over the fandom than the show itself. I've been disappointed by shows before, but I was more invested in Torchwood and the fandom. I was determined for a long time not to "leave," but to be honest, I think that's happening. It's hard to stay into it.

[fiwen1010.livejournal.com]

I couldn't leave Torchwood fandom. Jack and Ianto are too persistent and I have too many stories I still want to tell (and I know I'm lucky there). I'll stay here and keep writing stuff as long as there's people to read it, I guess.

[bk_forever]

I can't leave the fandom either - it's the only place that feels like 'home' to me, my sanctuary from the evils of real life.

[fiwen1010.livejournal.com]

Definitely agree. Fandom is one of the nicest places to be, most of the time.

[citrinesunset.livejournal.com]

I'm glad. The fandom has lost so many good people.

I haven't left, but I feel like I'm running out of passion and stories to tell. Though, it's still my favorite fandom to read fic in, by far.

[fiwen1010.livejournal.com]

I have more stories than I know what to do with. Some days I wish they'd shut up, but very rarely.