Isn't Worth Living: Chapter 6

Author's Note: I promise, promise, promise there is fluff coming, of a sort. Getting more sci-fi now, less angsty. Maybe

Ianto was in the archives, searching for anything they had on the Watulah. There wasn’t a lot, they’d been visited by one once before, and it had left a trail of devastation and not much information. That had been when Jack was just freelancing, back in the 1930s, and they’d eventually had to call him in to deal with it. Ianto found the reports on the incident and nearly threw up when he read about the injuries Jack had received, but Captain Jack Harkness had done it again. Twenty three deaths, admittedly four of those were Jack, and no one would ever know, because as soon as he’d killed it they had destroyed all the evidence, everything apart from the impeccable records.

He quite liked the 1930s, he reflected as he carried the dusty box of files up to the hub, the archivist at the time had been obsessed with detail and knew their way around the archives as well as he did. Everything up to her death had been neatly organised, well it had been until jack had blundered around down there in the intervening years. But Ianto had been able to build on her system and get the whole thing working again, in alphabetical order by species. However, as Jane had pointed out, that left you with quite a large section of ‘unknown’. Maybe he’d try rearranging it to her system, although he’d have to be more familiar with it before he attempted that.

He heard Tosh chuckle behind him and gave her a confused smile, “Something funny, Tosh?”

“You’ve got that look again, the one that says that we’re in for a fortnight of not seeing you because you’ve decided that the archives would be better colour coded or something.”

He grimaced at the memory, that had not been one of his best ideas, “Well it would have worked if they did manila folders in more colours.”

“Whatever you say, tea-boy.” Owen bounded up from the autopsy room, “Do us some coffees will you, I’ve got the results of the autopsy. Any idea where Jack is?”

“Office.” They chorused, exchanging a slightly worried glance, Jack had holed himself up there this morning and hadn’t even called for coffee, they didn’t have long before he became caffeine deprived and got extremely irritable.

The Captain was reading through a UNIT report on a group of Weevils that had been found in Bristol. He was worried for two reasons; one was that either the rift or the Weevils had spread, and the other was that he’d had to rely on Torchwood 1 to find this information. UNIT would never have sent it, but he’d got an automated memo telling him that UNIT had found something possibly relevant to an open case, and with all sorts of codes and information. He’d followed the codes to a detailed data-file on Weevils, combining information from all over the world, mainly Cardiff, to create a full profile of the alien visitors. It was brilliant, but a bit scary.

He looked up as Ianto appeared in the doorway with a coffee and accepted it gratefully. “What would we do without you, Ianto?”

“Probably the same as you did before me, sir. Save the world, but in a highly inefficient manner.” He smiled, “Owen has the results of the autopsy, he’s waiting for you downstairs.” Jack watched him go with a half-smile and some slightly dirty thoughts about the young Welshman, who looked really, really good in that suit, then realised that this was the man with whom he frequently shared a bed and exactly how uncomfortable that could get, so he shut his mind down and got up to follow.

Down in the autopsy room Owen was fairly buzzing with excitement and annoyance. As soon as Jack appeared he went into action, whirling around the table and pulling up overhead displays to show them what was going on, “OK, so I’ve worked out a cause of death and it’s sort of terrestrial.”

“Sort of?” Jack asked in amusement

“Yeah, sort of. She was attacked by a Weevil, she’s got bite marks on her neck that I’d recognise anywhere, I’ve patched us up from them often enough. So weakened by a Weevil, but she survived that, and we haven’t found any dead Weevils so we have to assume that her attacker survived too. I’d say that the attack took place about six hours before she died, and she kept losing blood, which meant she was probably fairly weak by the time someone else caught her.”

“Probably?”

“Yes, Jack, probably. I’m not an expert on Watulah physiology but if it was exactly like ours she wouldn’t have survived as long as she did, those injuries were major. Which suggests that she didn’t have long to live anyway.”

“What killed her in the end?” Ianto asked, making a mental note to check for any more information Jane could get for him on the Watulah

“A four inch long blade, straight and quite narrow. Like that…” he used a remote to pull up a computer representation of the blade, “Probably a flick knife.”

“So she attacked someone, and they fought back?”

“And took her weapons into the bargain, that’s about the long and short of it. What sort of weapons would she have, Jack?”

“You name it, she probably had it. Anyone had any news on anything?”

“Nothing from the police.” Gwen answered, “No unusual deaths or strange weapons.”

“Nothing on the black market yet and my contacts haven’t turned up anything, Ianto?”

The tea-boy looked up, “Nothing so far come up on blogs or ebay or anything like that. Tosh and I set up a system to monitor calls, but it’s hard knowing what we’re looking for. I’m going to call the Archive today, to see if they have any information that’ll be helpful.”

“Good thinking.” Jack nodded, “Call me if any of you get anything, I’ve got a pile of reports to send off to London. Ianto, can you have pizzas ready for about four?”

By about three o’clock Jack was bored and the team were all busy. Owen was doing reports on autopsies of the last week, Tosh was underneath her computer, doing he hated to think what, Gwen was catching up on her paperwork and of Ianto there was no sign. Jack checked through the CCTV feeds to try to find him, starting in the archives and flicking through all the usual places. He eventually found him in the TI office, watching his computer screen and laughing, occasionally sending messages. The Captain was intrigued.

Jones: Have you got any information for me yet?

Pink elephant: patience! I sent Mark, you know what he’s like

Jones: Dear God save us. Has he learned the alphabet yet?

Pink elephant: ROFLMAO!! Erm… as far as I can tell, why?

Jones: Ask Lucy, she knows the full story. I’ve heard it second hand

Pink elephant: OK, am intrigued now. But Lucy’s out today… mebbe I’ll email her

Jones: Do do

Pink elephant: Dodo? What’s the Dodo got to dodo with anything?

Jones: Everything, darling, everything

“Can I help you sir?” he grinned as Jack started upright guiltily

“Erm… I’m bored?” he pouted and Ianto laughed, sending a quick message to Pink elephant, who Jack realised was probably Jane Doe from Torchwood. “And you didn’t look to be working, so I thought I’d come and pester you.”

“I am working!” he announced indignantly, but didn’t hide the smile, “I’m waiting for the head of Torchwood to contact me with some information and sharing information about her employees with her.”

“Gossiping?”

“Do you want to know the story of why we don’t trust Mark with letters?” Jack mimed zipping his lip and Ianto laughed, “He once spent three hours looking for a copy of the Silmarillion, then came back to say they didn’t have any Tolkein at all.”

“Sounds unlikely.”

“It was, he couldn’t find it because he’d been looking on the wrong shelf. The idiot had got it into his head that T came after W.”

“And he didn’t notice?” Jack laughed

“Nope, and that selfsame idiot is second in command at Torchwood 1. His only superiors are you and Jane.”

“I outrank him?” the Captain was still struggling with the hierarchy

“Oh yes, you and Jane are the top of the tree but she’s more top of the tree if you know what I mean. Then Mark and… who is your second at the moment?”

“I dunno, you I guess. Maybe Owen officially.”

“Well your second is with Mark and the top rank of UNIT on that level, then all archivists on a sort of side branch.” Now Jack looked really confused, “We have top level security clearance within our branches, because we need to be able to get into our own archives, but less control over other branches.”

“So who has higher security clearance here?”

“We have the same level of clearance here,” he explained patiently, for what felt like the twentieth time since he’d got back from London the other day, “Except for the fact that you’re banished from the archives.” Jack’s pout really was attractive, but Ianto would not be swayed, “Post-it notes are not a suitable method of filing. Especially when most of them seem to be some sort of treasure hunt leading to a secret supply of biscuits.”

Jack muttered something about Ianto being a spoil-sport, but the Welshman had been distracted by an alert from his computer, “She’s got that stuff for us sir.” He slipped back into his professional manner far too easily for Jack’s liking, but he pushed the thought aside.

“Send the information down to the conference centre, then I want you and Gwen down there to help me go through it. Owen can deal with the pizzas.”

By the time the pizzas arrived and they were all gathered in the conference room, the three of them had a much better idea of what was going on, as well as what had gone on in the past. They had information from UNIT, the original Torchwood archive, Liberty Towers in the US and a diary account from the 18th Century.

”OK, so here’s what we have on the Watulah. Owen, that’s the physiology file,” he slid a file across the table and the medic studied it carefully, “And that little lot is the history of the Watulah. Now Gwen, Ianto and I have gone through it, and this is what we’ve found that’s really interesting. Ianto, it’s all yours.”

“Very good sir.” The first report of interest was this one from UNIT about a spaceship crashing in South Devon about six months ago, no sign of any life on board. It was heavily armed and built for two occupants. Without an occupant you’d think it’d be impossible to tell whose ship it was, but someone found this photo from 1953, taken in the USA, with another photo of...”

He pulled it up on the screen and heard a gasp of recognition from Tosh, “That’s a Watulah!”

“Correct. Which means?” Jack prompted

Owen groaned, “There’s another?”

The Captain’s grin was far too cheerful for the situation, “Yep, and we have to take a trip to Devon. Cheer up kids, we’re going on holiday.”

Jack felt that the groan he got from his team wasn’t entirely deserved.

Ianto and Tosh had been the most successful at resisting Jack’s attempts to get them out of the Hub. Ianto had actually gone as far as arranging for some examples of Watulan weaponry to be delivered from UNIT, and obviously he had to be there to receive them. Jack was impressed, if put off, but his argument. Tosh had pointed out that the Hub really needed two of them to monitor the systems, and Ianto would probably need help with those weapons and it should really be someone with technological knowledge.

Owen and Gwen hadn’t been so lucky.

The medic had insisted on driving, so Jack was sitting in the back working on the computers. He knew that, had Ianto agreed to come, he would just have taken the two of them in his Jag, but the young Welshman hadn’t been overly enthusiastic about going to Devon in the middle of Autumn. So instead they were barrelling down the motorway in the SUV, which was big, and comfy, and full of all the tech they’d need, but soooo boring.

He worked his way through the Torchwood system, putting in the code Ianto had given him to get the information he needed. The young man had enthused about the system all week, and Jack had a feeling that he’d probably disappear for a while soon. He suppressed a laugh at the memories of his friend when he’d first seen Jack’s attempt at archiving. Ianto had stared in shock, then turned and glared at Jack with his hands on his hips. They hadn’t seen him for a fortnight. Looking back, Jack could now see why they’d overlooked what was going on so easily, Ianto was just like that, from the very beginning he’d never really tried to integrate, and they hadn’t encouraged him. And all the while, he was suffering one of the most painful things in the world, watching someone he loved suffer and ultimately die.

Gwen’s voice brought him back to the present, and he was aware that he’d been staring out of the window at the changing scenery for quite some time. He reassured her with a grin and turned to studying the UNIT report on the crash site in detail. Ianto had managed to pull some strings, with whom Jack would never know, and got them permission to study the site. As far as he could tell the site would be safe, but he’d thought that about a crashed spaceship before.

“She was hanging from a barrage balloon, I had an invisible spaceship…” he chuckled again, then realised that both Owen and Gwen were staring at him now, “Sorry, got a bit caught in the past there. Funny place the past.”

They’d got to the crash site now and he got out without a backwards glance; knowing without having to look that they would be exchanging confused glances. He heard the doors slam behind him and heard Owen calling out, “Who was hanging from a barrage balloon?”

He raised the tape surrounding the site and grinned at them, gesturing through and leading them towards a group of UNIT personnel in a gazebo. On tables in the gazebo were photos of all the weapons collected from the ship. Much as he would have liked to see them, he recognised the wisdom of not leaving them lying around to be taken by anyone who happened along. Not that anyone could get through the UNIT guards patrolling; yeah right!

“Captain Jack Harkness, pleasure to meet you.” He introduced himself to the group, “Anything further you can tell us about this that isn’t in the files?”

“Not a lot sir. There’s been no unauthorised movement within the cordon, nothing unusual really, apart from an alien spaceship crash landing in Devon, that is.” An attractive young researcher spoke up, whilst the other personnel showed Gwen and Owen the photos, “Commander Doe was here yesterday, she thinks that the occupant or occupants evacuated the ship before it crashed.”

“Somewhere over Cardiff?” he swore fiercely and ran his hand through his hair, “So somewhere we’ve got another one to deal with?”

“And the two members of our team with the least field experience are on their own back in Cardiff.” Owen groaned, “Why do I get the feeling this isn’t going to go well?”

Jack was torn between wanting to get back to Cardiff to protect his team and the knowledge that he didn’t know enough yet. “Right, let’s have a look round the ship, “ he decided, “then we can get back there with more information.”

The ship was a thing of beauty, all straight lines and curves, looking like a futuristic sports car, probably the Pagani Zonda. Beautiful but completely insane. It was in a bad way, with wreckage strewn across the field and a gaping hole in the side. Rather than attempting the door, they did as the UNIT teams had done before them and made their way into the main body of the ship through the hole, which had been shored up with jacks to make it safe. Gwen was wide-eyed as they entered and Jack realised that it was her first time inside an alien space ship. He grinned and found himself wishing that he could show her round the most amazing space ship he’d ever seen, wishing he could show them all. Maybe he would, maybe it would be soon, maybe it would be too late.

Inside it was quite claustrophobic and difficult to move about, as it had only been designed for two occupants who got on fairly well, and there were three of them in there and he didn’t know them well enough to move around as he would have liked in there, especially with the damage. As Gwen bashed her head for the third time and he and Owen got wedged in a corner again he finally decided that enough was enough and sent them to study the photos again and wait for him.

In the quiet after they left he felt a great peace descend on him; that peace which only came when he was completely free to do his own thing. It was a spaceship thing. His first stolen spaceship had been a way out of a way of life that he’d felt trapped and vulnerable in, he’d crossed time and space in it without a second thought. If this one had been in working order…

A sudden sick feeling flooded into his stomach as he realised what he’d been considering; what he would have done. If the ship had been able to fly, he would have left without a backwards glance. He would have gone everywhere and everywhen, hoping to find the right version of the Doctor, and his team would have been left in limbo. Gwen and Owen would be stranded in Devon because he’d taken the SUV keys back when they got there, Tosh would have no one to protect her from UNIT, the inhabitants of Flat Holm Island would have no one watching them from the shore, and Ianto… His stomach did a strange somersault at the thought of the young man; it was part sympathy, part worry, part guilt, part anguish, and part love although what kind he didn’t really know. Ianto still needed him, he couldn’t and wouldn’t leave.

He looked around the ship again, working purely on instinct. Without his brain telling him what to do he managed to find the escape pod, or the space where it should have been. Again trusting to instinct, he pressed a button on his wrist-strap and picked up a small sonic remote from the floor. It emitted a small, blue light and an annoying buzzing noise, and almost immediately the end of the remote started to be surrounded by a golden glow.

“Oh.” He muttered as he watched them growing in strength, then as the repair of the spaceship around him distracted his attention, “This is just priceless.”

Isn't Worth Living: Chapter 7

“Oh, right…” he repeated, “well that… that might complicate things a little.” He continued to stare at the tip of the remote with its glowing nanobot cloud and reached out absentmindedly for the lights and the door mechanism. As soon as it had repaired sufficiently it dropped open and Gwen and Owen tumbled in.

“What the hell?” Gwen asked breathlessly, her eyes wide as the computer system crackled into life again. Without a word, Jack swung himself into one of the seats and cancelled the defence programs, the radar, scanners, signals, everything. The last thing they needed was this sending out an SOS signal: he’d probably answer it and create an enormous paradox.

Still, he couldn’t help smiling, not his usual grin but a proper smile that just grew and grew, like the glowing cloud. He waved it around and their eyes followed it in amazement. As he caught sight of Gwen’s hands, which Owen had bandaged after they left, he beckoned her towards him and took hold of her hands, as he had done once for a young blonde in a Union Flag T-shirt. He gave her a reassuring smile and directed the glow towards her hands and couldn’t stop it spreading as the two of them stared at the rapidly disappearing cuts. “Nanogenes.” He finally explained, with a comment which could in no way be dignified with the description ‘an explanation’. “Nanobots and nanogenes, the air’s full of them. Sub atomic robots, when the system’s activated the nanobots scurry round and repair anything that’s wrong with the ship, quite a lot in this case, and the nanogenes heal the occupants. You have to tell them to heal anyone else.”

“Like me, for example…” Gwen was still staring, but now she was staring at him, at his goofy grin. “Jack this is impossible.”

“You think this is impossible, these are quite early ones. Some of the last nanogenes I…” he drew in a breath, “encountered, those ones were about three generations beyond these and could bring people back to life.”

“Don’t be dumb, Jack.” Owen snarked, “We’ve heard all your stories before.”

“It’s true!” he pouted but still couldn’t hide that smile, it felt so good. But boy did he miss them, Rose… Don’t go there, not when he was in a happy place, “Nanogenes, they’re Fantastic!”

Gwen heard the capital letter drop into place and worried about their boss, but she reasoned that anything that made Jack that deliriously happy and still in control of all his faculties was probably a good thing. She did make a mental note to ask Ianto about it when they got back though. “Do you think we should get out, Jack?”

Suddenly he was the Captain again, slamming up the walls that had been deconstructed by the memories and she regretted it, “Right, yes. We need to get back to Cardiff. I have here,” and here he grabbed a handheld console from down the side of one of the seats, “a device which will help us to track the jettisoned escape pod.”

“There definitely was one?” Owen asked

“Computer?” Lights flashed and Owen and Gwen escaped an exasperated glance, he ignored them, “Locate escape pod.”

A surprisingly biological voice, but not speaking any language they recognised responded. Jack seemed to understand it though, because he nodded and turned to them, “See?”

“No, Jack, we’re not all fluent in Klingon. Let’s get out of here and back to Tosh and Ianto.” Owen turned abruptly and stalked out through the door. Gwen gave Jack an amused smile and followed Owen, leaving Jack to bring up the rear for once.

They thanked the UNIT forces and Jack gave them an update on the situation and headed back to the SUV. It wasn’t until he was ensconced in the driver’s seat that he turned round to give Owen his usual hundred megawatt grin, “You know, you really ought to think about learning Klingon Owen, a surprising number of alien species use it as a middle ground language. They may come from opposite ends of the universe, but if they’ve seen Star Trek they’re OK. Sindarin’s used for the same purpose.”

“Sindarin?” Owen just looked sceptical

“The language of the grey elves in Lord of the Rings.”

“I bet I know someone who speaks that…”

“Tosh, Ianto and I all do, which is why we do most of the communicating with alien species. Who needs a translator when you have a knowledge of Tolkein?”

Owen looked disgusted, “I can believe it of Tosh, but Tea-boy? Don’t tell me he’s into LARPs or MMORPGs too?”

“I don’t even know what the last two are, Owen, and please don’t enlighten me. Lord of the Rings is Ianto’s favourite book, he and Lisa used to talk and write to each other in Sindarin to stop people understanding them; by the time she died she’d forgotten all she knew.”

There was an uncomfortable silence after that, broken eventually by Gwen, “Is he going to be OK, Jack?”

He sighed, suddenly weary, feeling his true age and the full weight of the years crushing down on his heart, “Yes, he’ll be OK. I don’t know how long it’ll take, but he’ll get there.” He didn’t mention the fact that he only knew about Lisa loving Tolkein because he’d called Ianto ‘Nîn kal’ a few days ago, and that Ianto had broken down at that because Lisa had called him it, or that Ianto hadn’t had an uninterrupted night’s sleep so far since, or that it ripped him apart inside every time he had to hold him late at night or early in the morning because he cared too much and there was nothing he could do to help apart from be there. Too often he’d watched someone he cared about fall apart and had to pick up the pieces. Too often he hadn’t been strong enough.

He blinked suddenly and realised that they were near Bristol, he’d been on autopilot most of the way to this point, which scared him, but apparently it had done wonders for his driving. Gwen had actually nodded off in the front passenger seat, which had to be a first. They’d become a really, really strange little family, but it was the closest thing he’d had to family since two wonderful years in a blue police phone box. Even his wives hadn’t been family; family required shared strength, solidarity and usually bitchiness. And Torchwood, Torchwood was everything. He wiped a tear from his cheek and hoped that Owen hadn’t noticed, if he had he didn’t mention it, and concentrated on the road again. At the next service station he pulled off, got out and passed the keys to Owen, slipping into the back to work with the computers to find the escape pod.

Owen watched his boss carefully, worried that there’s been something in the air in that spaceship, besides the sub-atomic robots that Jack had harped on about. The Captain had swung from over-the-moon cheerful to miserable and on to, if Owen wasn’t mistaken, sentimental. And he had yet to make an inappropriate comment to Gwen, which was definitely cause for concern.

The phone rang just on the edge of Cardiff and he answered it distractedly, “Yeah, what’s up?” he called as he tried to suppress the road-rage at a particularly stupid learner driver. Gwen chuckling at him wasn’t helping.

“Erm… we’ve located the other Watulah.” Ianto’s voice came over the coms and the three in the car immediately tensed, something in the young man’s tone told them that all was not right, “Or I think it might be more accurate to say that he’s located us.” He was choosing his words carefully.

“Where is he?” there was a barely noticeable trace of panic in Jack’s voice as he pulled up the Sat Nav systems from the back.

“Erm…” there was a pause and the team held their breaths, “In the conference room, actually. Drinking tea, I hasten to add.”

“De-caff?” Jack’s brain had shut down, apparently, all he could think about was the fact that caffeine was poisonous to Watulahs, not that his best friend was in the same building as one of the deadliest killers in the universe and he was too far away to be any use. He gestured at Owen to go faster, so the medic let rip with the accelerator.

“Yes, I got some in for Gwen the other day, lucky I did really.” There was an argument that they could barely hear at the other end of the line, then Ianto came back speaking in a fractured but beautiful language that Owen and Gwen couldn’t understand. Jack groaned and responded in the same language, then rolled his eyes at Gwen and Owen,

“Our guest is insisting that Ianto speaks Sindarin, so that he knows what’s going on. Ni tul Ianto.”

“Ni is, Jack.”

Jack willed Owen faster, cursing himself for leaving Tosh and Ianto alone at the Hub, especially when the intelligence he had suggested that there would be another Watulah around. Who knows what else could have happened? As his mind dredged up a seemingly never-ending list of possibilities he started on a new list of options for when they reached the Hub. Ianto would hopefully have talked the Watulah into cooperating, at least for a while, or at least have distracted him with tea and cake. Then when they got there they could take him out, or take him back to the ship if he was prepared to cooperate further. But what if they went back to an empty Hub, what if Ianto didn’t manage to calm him? What if he got back to find that, after everything, the too young Welshman had died and it was all his fault?

They pulled up in a squeal of brakes outside the TI office and stormed through the doorway. When they reached the bottom the cog door was jammed open and the Hub was silent; half drawing his weapon, Jack led the way up to the conference room, dreading what he would find up there.

---

Author’s note:

Don’t ask me where all the Elvish came from, apart from www.uib.no/people/hnohf, a wonderful website if you ever want to use some (and I will be using it more in the future, I have a wonderful fic planned using lots of Elvish. Hopefully I’ll also learn Welsh too.) Story is now vaguely back on track, apart from the unexpected alien invasion of Cardiff of course

Translations used:

Nîn kal – My hero
Ni tul – I’m coming (I come, technically)
Ni is – I know

Isn't Worth Living: Chapter 8

Disclaimer: Torchwood and its component parts belong to the BBC

Ianto had never been more relieved to see Jack than when he appeared in the doorway of the conference room. To be fair, nothing had gone wrong yet, but there was only so much you could talk about in a language that wasn’t fully formed and was designed for a world without the internal combustion engine, computers or pizza; their guest was starting to get tetchy, and Ianto didn’t like the look of the swords slung across his back.

He had been able to say, “You have very large swords,” at least, although it hadn’t added much to the conversation. Now he and Tosh smiled tensely at their leader and wondered what his next move would be, but it was the Watulan who moved first.

He had been staring from Tosh, to Ianto, to Jack in the doorway and now sank back into the seat he had risen from, “My wife, she is dead?” he asked hollowly.

To their astonishment, when Jack replied it was in English, but the alien appeared to understand every word, and when he replied in what appeared to be his native tongue, Jack understood him,

“I’m sorry.”

“I can make myself understood in most languages.”

"Yes, Captain Jack Harkness, at your service"

“I'm sorry, we don't really know.”

“Of course, I will arrange it for you. Ianto, will you lay her out, please?” The young man just nodded and practically fled the room; the atmosphere in there was tense, and using that language again, to talk about a dead woman so soon after Lisa…

About quarter of an hour later, when he’d got her laid out neatly and respectably with the armour she’d been wearing close by, he heard footsteps in the corridor and stood back to let them enter. Guron, the Watulah, entered first and acknowledge him with a slight incline of his head before moving swiftly and silently to Frione’s side. Jack was the only other who came down, and he came straight to Ianto and rested a hand on his shoulder, studying him carefully. He gave his friend a weak smile to reassure him and felt a slight warmth spread through him when Jack returned it. They retreated down the corridor a little to give Guron some space and Ianto was surprised but gladdened when Jack pulled him into a hug.

“I’m sorry.” The Captain whispered against his hair, causing Ianto to pull away slightly in order to frown at him

“What for?”

“For leaving the two of you here, that you had to do that, generally sorry…”

“Stop it.” He rested his head on Jack’s shoulder and smiled, “Stop apologising, you have nothing to apologise for.”

He felt Jack’s chuckle run through them both, it was a strange but thoroughly pleasant sensation, “You can have one in credit then, I’m sure I’ll need it at some point.” His voice was sad and far-away but Ianto couldn’t make a move to pull him back, he was having enough trouble not going there himself.

A cough interrupted them and they turned and looked at Gwen who was watching them from the corner, “Not interrupting anything, am I?” she blushed and Ianto chuckled

“No, come on, group hug.” He beckoned them over and the three of them stood there, drawing on each other for comfort and solidarity.

Jack went alone into the side room that Ianto had prepared and stood a good way back from Guron, just waiting for a signal. Everntually, the Watulah raised his head, “Captain Harkness,” he advanced a few steps to stand closer, “how is it that I can understand you, and your team can understand you yet they do not understand me?”

Jack glanced at him cautiously, treading the usual dilemma of exactly how much to divulge, “What do you know about Time-Lords?” he asked

Grudon shrugged, “A little, why?”

“What would you say if I told you I’d travelled with one?”

Now the Watulah turned to him in shock, “I would call you a liar, were it not for the fact that I met one not long ago, the last survivor.”

“The Doctor?” his breath caught

Guron nodded curiously, “He made quite an impact on my homeworld.”

Jack gave a half laugh, “Yes, I can imagine he could. He’s something of an aggressive pacifist. You know the weapons factory at Villengard?”

“I know of it, there’s a banana grove there now.”

“Yes, he likes bananas; they’re a good source of potassium.”

“He is a remarkable man, Watah will never be the same.” He laughed in response to Jack’s shocked look, “Oh, it is a better place Captain. It is peaceful, serene, as it should be. Lots of bananas.”

Jack nodded, understanding completely, “He filled my life with bananas. When I was with him it was nuts, but since then it’s been bananas.”

There was silence between them until his friend smiled, “I think that joke works better in your language than mine. Such is life.” He turned back to his wife and gazed at her sadly, “I want to take her home. Her knife, where is it?”

Jack sighed sadly, “We’re still trying to locate it. Your craft is ready for flight, is it hasn’t been found by the time you need to leave I will have Him bring it to you.”

“Strange, without Him I would probably have killed you all in my grief. But your friends, they put such faith in you, especially the young man. I had to see the man who inspired such faith, and when I saw you I saw why. You carry that look, you have been touched by the one who touches even those he never meets.”

Jack couldn’t find the words to respond, more grateful than ever to the strange alien who had not only saved him from death, but had saved him from the pain of losing his family, his whole being today. He felt a great wave of sympathy for the alien and his loss. “You can stay here as long as you like, as long as you need.”

“Thank you, but I don’t wish to overstay my welcome, and your team don’t really know how to deal with my presence.”

“As long as you need, I mean it, it’s a pleasure having you here. I only wish it had been under happier circumstances.”

Jack found Ianto making coffee in the kitchen and was glad that he’d got him alone, “Ianto, are you OK?”

“I’m fine, just making some coffee, do you want some?”

“Thanks. Look, I was wondering, I don’t think Guron’s ready to leave just yet, and I’m going to need to clear it through UNIT, which is going to be Hell, he needs somewhere to stay in the meantime, and the Hub’s not suitable. Could he go back to yours? I’ll stay here, he can have the other room.” He was tentative, not really knowing where they stood, not wanting Ianto to have to deal with it on his own but not really having any other choice.

Ianto, however, smiled at him, “Your room, Jack. It’s yours as long as you want it, that is assuming you still do?” Jack’s grateful smile said it all, but Ianto found he couldn’t look at his friend as he struggled to piece the next sentence together, “And, I mean, you don’t have to stay here, if you want to come back you could always…” he cleared his throat and turned back to Jack, who looked bemused and slightly amused, “What are the chances that either of us will stay in our own beds for the whole night anyway?”

“Are you suggesting what I think you’re suggesting?”

“That depends entirely on what you think I’m suggesting. It’s not like we’ve never shared a bed before.”

Jack grinned, “You know, Owen would be so surprised if he ever found out how often you try to get me into bed.”

“You know I didn’t mean like that.” He hid a smirk behind a mock glare

“Shucks”

“But was that a yes?”

“Yes.”

“OK, coffee’s done.” And he left Jack staring after him in some puzzlement as he went to hand out the coffees and a mug of fruit tea for Guron.

Isn't Worth Living: Chapter 9

Author's Note: OK, this is so far from what I intended it's not even funny. It just sort of happened...

---

Jack raised his gun and pressed himself against the wall, gesturing at the others to wait for him. He tested the door handle and was reassured to find it locked, it was less likely to be a trap if they’d locked the door, they wouldn’t be expecting anyone. Pulling a set of highly illegal lock picks from his pocket he unlocked the door silently and pushed it open gingerly; when there was no gunfire, no sound of any sort, he pushed it further and beckoned to the others to follow him. The light inside was dim, but bright enough to see the boxes stacked all around. He indicated that Owen and Gwen should watch the door and that Tosh should check the boxes whilst he covered her, the building was silent, in a deserted part of the docks.

They’d found it with Guron’s help, he’d done a scan for alien tech, “very spock” as he had been told once upon a time. The scan had indicated a few items here, so they’d come to investigate. Guron had been determined to come, but Jack had persuaded him to stay behind with Ianto, monitoring their situation from there.

Tosh’s excited whisper attracted his attention to the boxes and he hurried over to take a look. Inside were weapons, lots of them, mostly human but some recognisable alien. He whistled quietly as he turned an AK-47 over in his hands, then put it down when he noticed how nervous it made the young woman. She gave him an embarrassed smile and pulled out a 51st Century sonic blaster, “So what do we do with this little lot?”

Jack looked astonished when he saw the blaster, but then shook his head in amusement, “One hundred years ago and that must be the fifth or sixth time I’ve thought about that night in the last week.” He thought to himself.

“Right, well here’s what we do… We take the alien weapons back to the hub, deal with them when we get back there, and we tip the police off about this place. I know it’s not our field, but I don’t want these weapons on the streets of Cardiff or London or wherever any more than the next man.” He took the blaster form Tosh and smiled at it, speaking into his coms, “Ianto, can you get me a crate of bananas?”

Half an hour, and two false alarms, later, Jack helped Owen to lift the crate of assorted confiscated alien weaponry into the boot of the SUV and grinned at him. The medic simply rolled his eyes, checked that it wouldn’t slide about when they were on the move and took the proffered car keys from Ianto. They had spent the last half hour sorting what was alien from what was human and packing everything alien into one of the crates. Once they’d done that they were down by one crate, which would be noticed, so Jack had substituted a crate of bananas. He wouldn’t tell them why, but he seemed to find this highly amusing, as did Guron by the sounds of it. The alien had come out there with Ianto, God only knew where the lad had got a crate full of bananas at this time of night, and was talking earnestly with Jack as they surveyed the warehouse. Owen shook his head to himself as he took the SUV around the corner. Apparently Jack had a plan, which involved the SUV being out of sight from the Warehouse, and which also involved giving Guron quite a large gun. Owen was more than slightly worried, it had often been said that there was madness to Jack’s method, Owen disputed that; occasionally there was method to Jack’s madness.

When he returned, Jack had gathered the team and they were waiting for him. As soon as he was close enough, Jack clapped his hands and started explaining his plan, “OK, so Gwen has called the police, and they’re on their way. In the meantime we’re going to watch the place and make sure that whoever’s behind this doesn’t get away with it. If they go in we’re going to keep them there, if they don’t before he police arrive we’re going to help them to bring them in?”

“That’s not our job.” Owen pointed out.

“Is it not? Our job is to protect people, and maybe by doing this we can save someone’s life. Maybe even help to stop the flow of guns to the teens of London. But we can’t just let them slip away.”

“Agreed.” Gwen glared at Owen

“Hey, I wasn’t saying we shouldn’t. Just that it’s rare for us to overstep our bounds.”

“That’s cos they’re already set so wide.” Ianto quipped and Jack grinned at him. Owen was sure there was something going on there, but he wasn’t quite brave enough to ask. Mainly because he wasn’t sure he wanted to know the answer.

“So, any arguments?” there was silence, so Jack clapped his hands again and started gesturing to locations, “Owen and Gwen, I want you two over there and there, watching those two streets and that side of the building, Guron, Ianto and I will take that side, Tosh I want you to monitor the police movements and keep us informed, let me know as soon as they get close. Everyone armed?” They all nodded in confirmation and he continued, “They’re not to be used, unless they engage us in a fire-fight. Whatever happens, stay safe. If you need to shoot someone to protect yourself or someone else then don’t hesitate, but don’t shoot on sight. Getting this lot may help to bring down a network, and I don’t want the chance to escape. Plus, I’m sure Ianto could do without the follow up that a Torchwood death invariably brings.”

“And there was me thinking you didn’t care.”

“It’s not that he cares, tea boy, it’s just the fact that every time you have to clean up after a death you put something in his coffee as payback. Can we go to our positions now Jack? Before someone walks in on us.”

“Go, and remember: don’t use your weapons unless you have to.”

As they moved to their positions together, Guron asked Jack and Ianto the question that had interested him since the day he met them, “I don’t mean to pry, but are you two…”

They smiled at each other and at him, “No, we just live together.”

“Share a bed.” Ianto added helpfully, “You know, normal stuff like that. I’m…” he struggled to find words for a moment before looking away towards the corner of the building, “I lost my girlfriend, not long ago. We help each other, I guess.” Jack smiled at him compassionately and Guron got the impression that the Captain would quite like there to be more to the relationship than there was.

Feeling suddenly uncomfortable he turned and surveyed the surrounding area, “Any preferences for where you’d prefer to be? There’s a few skips up there that could be used for cover,” he pointed, “streetlight out on the corner there and a tree over there.”

“Good thinking.” The Captain nodded, “I’ve no preference, although it would make me feel better if I was at the pointy end, so to speak.”

“Why is that?” Guron looked mildly offended, he wanted to be there to get his revenge on his wife’s killers after all.

Jack shrugged, “I’m immortal, it makes more sense for me to be in possible danger than you two.” He could tell that Ianto was shocked that he’d told Guron, it was a secret he kept close, fearing the effect it would have on people. The only people who knew about it apart from the two of them and now Guron were Gwen, who had seen it, and Jane, who had found it in the records. Jack didn’t tell anyone about it, until now. It must have been even more out of the blue as Ianto could only hear his half of the conversation, he smiled apologetically at the younger man, and then wondered why

“You’re impossible, mad and impossible.” The Watulah told him, “But I believe you. So you will stay by the tree, has Ianto any preference?” When Jack passed on the question and ascertained that he didn’t mind, they agreed that he would wait by the skips in the middle and Guron would take the furthest point in the shadows under the street non-light. As they parted they activated their coms and heard Tosh’s voice giving instructions to Owen and Gwen,

“The police will be here in fifteen minutes, Gwen, you’ll need to be somewhere you can slip round to them without being seen from the warehouse, just in case.”

“OK Tosh, I’ve found somewhere, there’s a garden, I can get from here onto the next street and the along the back if I need to. If they arrive around the other side then Jack will have to deal with them.”

“Are you there yet Jack?”

“Present and correct marm!” he laughed quietly, “Any sign of anyone coming?”

“Nope, and I’ve hacked into their CCTV system and the door lock control, if they go in and shut the door I can lock them in.”

“Good work Tosh, I don’t pay you enough.”

“Watch it Jack, I might just remind you of that.”

“Yeah well, annual reviews are coming up soon, I might remember on my own.”

“What’s put you in such a good mood Jack?” Owen asked

“Don’t ask questions Owen, just make the most of it.” He grinned back, thoroughly glad to be a part of his team. “Now, we’ve only got a few minutes to wait, so can we try radio silence? I know it’s not strictly necessary, but it would make me feel better about your safety.” He took the ensuing quiet for agreement

“Jack.” Ianto’s voice whispered in his ear a couple of minutes later, “Jack, I’ve got a van here, it’s not the police.”

“How many?”

“Two men, they’re heading your way up this side of the building.”

“OK, stay out of sight guys, Tosh, can you tell the police to arrive quietly?”

“On it Jack.”

“Captain.” Guron muttered, “They have just passed me.”

“I can see them, hold your positions.” He watched them moving in and out of the patches of light down the side of the building. They didn’t appear to be taking any care about not being seen, apparently they had no idea they weren’t alone. The two men were similar in appearance, tall, muscular and dark haired, and were speaking quietly. One of them walked slightly in front of the other and appeared to be dominating the conversation, but it wasn’t an argument.

Jack didn’t move as they passed him, experience having told him that a) he was well hidden enough as it was and b) they would notice the movement. He held his breath as the leader of the two stepped into the shadows by the door, then disappeared inside, closely followed by the other man, and he swore when they left the door open.

“Jack, I can’t seal them in, the door needs to be closed.”

“I know, Tosh. Bare with me. How far off are the police?”

“Five minutes.”

“Damn, that’s too far off.” He looked around and realised there was no alternative. Without a word of warning he’d dashed across to the side of the building and was peering in through the open door. One of them men spotted him instantly, and he only just had time to grab the door and slam it shut as a shot and a cry rang out, “Shit, Tosh lock it, now!” He bit his lip and clutched his arm, aware of blood soaking his shirt sleeve but not of pain. Not yet. “Fuck.” Now the pain had hit home, he leant against the wall and let his head fall back as he tried to cope, then regained awareness of his surroundings; the hammering on the door of the two men trapped inside, Guron and Owen at his side, three worried voices coming over the coms. “I’m fine, don’t worry about me. Back to your positions, we don’t know if there are any more to come.”

They were interrupted by squealing brakes and flashing lights that heralded the arrival of Cardiff’s finest; he swore again and advanced on the first car, extending his hand to the officer in the lead, “Glad you could make it,” he greeted him sarcastically, “we’ve got two men locked in there. Torchwood has requisitioned an unspecified quantity of weaponry. That’s exactly what it’s going to say in your report. Now, we’ll leave it to you. Good night.” He was being shorter than he would have liked, but God his arm hurt.

“You’ve been shot.” The officer looked horrified

“Yeah, I’d noticed, so we’re leaving.”

He turned and stalked towards the SUV where the rest of the team were waiting for him. Owen glared at him and shoved him down to sit on the edge of the open boot, pulling his coat and shirt off to bandage his arm more roughly than necessary, “What was that about Jack? Who was it who was worried about us taking unnecessary risks?”

“The first word I heard when I got to the door was bananas, “he gasped as Owen yanked hard on the bandage, “Do you have to do that? I had to get the door shut, they’d figured out that something was wrong and I didn’t want them coming out on the alert and shooting any of you.”

“So you let them shoot you instead.” The medic shook his head as though he didn’t believe any of it

“Yep, it was worth it.” His eyes finally met Ianto’s and he relaxed, feeling reassured by the amusement shining there. “Any idea what they’re doing?”

“Armed police are on their way, and they would quite like us out of the way, sir.”

“Right,” he flexed his shoulders slightly and immediately regretted it, “OK, let’s call it a night, Ianto, you and Guron can get straight off home as your car’s here. I don’t think I’ll be coming back tonight. The rest of you can go straight from the Hub, or from here if you don’t need to pick anything up.”

The ride back was silent and quite painful because Owen was driving. Jack tried hard to keep his injured arm from bashing against the door but when Owen took corners like that… he hissed and shot a glare at the younger man but decided it would be wisest not to say anything. He knew he was in trouble for taking the gamble with the door, but he was still sure he’d done the right thing.

Owen went straight from the car park, assuring Jack that he wouldn’t need to check the bandage until the next morning and muttering something about getting a drink. Gwen and Tosh both had to pick things up from the Hub, so the three of them went in together through the TI office. Jack sank into Ianto’s chair, knowing that the young man wouldn’t mind, and propped his head on his uninjured arm with his chin in his hand, watching Tosh hang his coat up as she chatted happily with Gwen.

“Jack?” his attention snapped back to the present at Gwen’s voice, although he wasn’t entirely sure where it had been before, “You told Ianto that you didn’t think you’d be going back to his tonight. I don’t mean to pry but…”

He chuckled, “I’m living with him, that’s it. We’re just very good friends who got fed up of living alone and discovered that our talents compliment each other’s.” The expression on her face was priceless, “By which I mean that I’m a great cook and he makes the best coffee in the known universe. Besides, he needed looking after, after Lisa.”

Gwen looked shocked, and he understood why, it was the first time Lisa’s name had been mentioned since she’d nearly killed them all. She still wasn’t sure how she felt about the whole thing, or who she blamed. She knew that Jack was watching her carefully, taking note of her reaction so she nodded carefully and turned to leave, “Take care of your arm, I’ll see you in the morning.” Tosh simply smiled and followed her out of the cog door, not needing to say anything.

As soon as they were gone he got up again and headed for the bunker beneath his office. It was hard work getting down the ladder when he couldn’t properly use his arm, but he was emotionally and mentally exhausted. He tried to remove his shirt but it hurt far too much. Sighing he rested his head in his hand and ran his hand through his hair distractedly. He felt strangely desolate at being alone tonight. Since Guron had come to stay over a week before, he had spent every night with Ianto curled against him warm and protective. It wasn’t something they’d talked about, it wasn’t even something he’d seriously thought about until now, it was just what they did. That way, when Ianto woke sobbing in the middle of the night Jack was already there holding him and soothing him, and when Jack needed reminding in the middle of the night that there was a reason he got up in the mornings there was one lying in his arms. And that was so true, so true it was breaking his heart, because he was rapidly falling in love with Ianto Jones.

He felt like he was falling without a parachute, and he of all people should know what that felt like, and how much it hurt when you landed, and there was nothing he could do to stop it. His quick humour, almost gentle sarcasm and how good he looked in a suit were all factors, that was true, but it was the little things that meant the most. The big things were important, like the way he always knew what to say to help matters, like when they’d come back from the incident with the fairies and the others had blamed him for letting Jasmine go, as though they couldn’t see how much it hurt him to let her go, as if it wasn’t bad enough having to let one go but with that name? And Ianto had brought him coffee, and then held him when he broke. Yes, the big things were\pretty damn important, but really it was the little things that were getting to him most. It was the way he smiled slightly whilst he made the coffee, the adorable way he ran his fingers through his hair when he was at a loss, the way he smiled over his shoulder when Jack found him in the kitchen first thing in the morning, the way his face lit up whenever he got a message from Jane in London.

And that was what was breaking Jack’s heart the most, because even as he felt himself falling in love with Ianto, he could see Ianto falling in love with Jane. He hadn’t realised it yet, but the little clues were all there, the way he was getting defensive of her, the way he’d be happy for hours after talking to her, even if it had just been a request for information.

He stood up and tried to take his shirt off again, but it was still too painful, 21st Century painkillers had never really been enough with his physiology, and because he hadn’t died the wound would heal slowly, for him at least. He closed his eyes and allowed a grunt of pain to escape as he moved his shoulder in just the right way to send lances up and down his arm and across his shoulders. Before he’d recovered, however, he felt gentle hands pulling at his shirt, sliding it gently off his shoulders and helping him to get his arms free. He didn’t need to open his eyes to know who it was, the mixed scent of coffee and coconut only served to confirm what his instincts were telling him, so he kept his eyes closed, “I thought you’d gone home.” He sighed with a smile

“I did, then I came back. You need me more than Guron does, but I had to pick up a change of clothes.”

“Are you staying?” he finally opened his eyes and smiled gratefully at his friend, confident that the pain he’d been feeling would be safely hidden again now

“If you are.”

“Thanks” he whispered, not needing to speak any louder in the confined space. Suddenly, on a whim, he pulled Ianto into a hug, and as he felt Ianto relax into him and wrap his arms around Jack’s waist, the immortal breathed in the scent of the coffee, of coconut and of Ianto, absorbing himself in a moment that was just him and the man he loved.

Isn't Worth Living: Chapter 10

Ianto blinked several times and struggled through the fog in his mind to figure out where he was and why he was there. Jack was there too, he was curled against Jack as he was usually in the mornings, making Ianto mildly embarrassed but unwilling or unable to move, but they weren’t in Ianto’s bed, which meant… They were in Jack’s room, under his office because… Because Jack got shot, during the raid on the warehouse, he’d gone and shut the door so that they couldn’t get out and threaten the team. “Bloody idiot” he muttered affectionately, well aware that Jack was awake and probably watching him.

The chuckle rumbled right through Ianto, as he lay pressed more closely against Jack than he would have been in his own double bed, and he felt his friend shift slightly, felt rather than heard the catch in his breath as the movement caused him pain again. Ianto sat up suddenly and nearly fell out of bed, but Jack caught him just in time, “Careful, we’re not in Kansas any more Toto.”

“Yeah, it took me a while to figure that bit out. How’s your arm?” he asked in concern

“Oh you know…” Jack shrugged and didn’t seem to notice, “I think it’s just about there.”

“It hurt a moment ago.”

“Just cramp caused by stopping you falling out of bed all night.” He grinned broadly when Ianto blushed in embarrassment, “Thanks for coming, and for staying. I don’t know what I’d do without you.” The honesty in his eyes took Ianto by surprise

“Likewise.” He admitted with a smile, then groaned, “What time is it?”

“Erm,” Jack reached across behind Ianto to check his mobile and pulled a face, “Five, we could go back to sleep for a bit?”

He shook his head, resisting the urge to just curl up against the captain again, he was so deliciously warm, “I won’t get off to sleep again now, and I should really get back to collect Guron, I don’t feel great about leaving him there overnight on his own.”

“Did he seem to mind?” Jack asked, slight disappointment evident in his voice

Ianto reached for his jacket and trousers, which he had discarded on a chair the night before, but thought better of it, just grabbing his shoes instead. He was wearing a T-shirt and jogging bottoms, plenty to drive home at this time of the morning, probably no one who didn’t know him would be able to tell that it wasn’t just what he wore normally, “No, actually he told me to come just as I opened my mouth to tell him I was coming.”

“Sometimes I get the feeling that alien’s trying to play match-maker.” Jack mused with another chuckle

“Well, seeing as his arrival drove you straight into my bed I’d say he’s doing a damn good job.”

Jack laughed and leaned back again, “I would come with you, but I’m far far far too lazy. I’ll do the muffin run for you though, save you one job when you get in.”

“Yeah, and you can feed Myfanwy too.” He paused halfway up the ladder as he was struck by a thought, “What are you going to tell Owen about your arm?”

“That I was killed in battle thousands of years in the future and brought back to life and ever since then I can’t die and heal super-fast? Nah, I’ll tell him my coat was still full of nanogenes from investigating the spaceship the other day.”

“OK, see you in a couple of hours. Don’t forget…”

“Muffins, Myfanwy.” He interrupted with a grin, “I remember, and have a good breakfast, I have a feeling today’s going to be a long one.” As he relaxed back into the pillows and heard the unmistakeable sounds of Ianto’s departure, he felt like there was a filled hole in his life, and he knew exactly which hole it was. Every so often he would need someone, a proper relationship to remind him that there was life beyond Torchwood and the Doctor, someone who was just there. Usually the need started when he met someone who was that person, like with Lucy, with Mark, with Estelle – God Estelle, how it had broken his heart to leave her – and now… Ianto. The young man had awakened those feelings in him, the feelings of loss and emptiness, and by doing so had soothed them, but this time Jack knew that it was only temporary, because no matter how couple-ish this morning had been, they weren’t a real couple, and they never would be.

Growling in annoyance and misery he swung out of bed and got dressed quickly and efficiently before making his way into the main body of the Hub. As he busied himself with tidying, feeding Myfanwy and Janet, collecting together reports and struggling to remember the usual muffin orders, he reflected bitterly that the last time he’d done this was when he’d been fighting the grief and betrayal he’d felt after discovering Lisa, now he didn’t know what he was fighting, but it scared him.

---

Ianto pushed the button under the desk to let them into the Hub and allowed the Watulah to go through first before sealing the door behind them. They made their way down in silence, each lost in his own thoughts. Guron had seemed distant during the journey over, and he was worried about his new friend, the probably reason didn’t escape him either. A trawl of Ebay had turned up his wife’s ceremonial knife, her other weapons had all been found the day before, the ship was ready and the stars were calling; Ianto’s skill at joined up thinking wasn’t really required.

He went straight to the coffee machine as he always did, allowing the hum of the machine and the smells of the coffee to swirl around him and sooth him, reaching through the early-morning-familiarity induced fog currently inhabiting his mind to at least get him into a state where he could function at more than a basic essential level. His mental checklist was severely out of sync today, auto-pilot wouldn’t work.

First things first, coffee for me and Jack, tea for Guron – Scratch Jack, he’s out of the Hub, probably going for the muffins like he said he would, so one coffee, one tea

Next, feed Myfanwy – scratch that, Jack had done it

Clean out and feed Janet – Also done

Muffin run – Done

Quick tidy round before everyone else gets in, that’s sure to be doable. But when he went to look at the Hub it was as tidy as he’d ever seen it, apparently something else Jack had done whilst he was gone. Sudden worry gripped him, Jack never ever did things like this, he must be ill, but he laughed at the thought as the immortal captain’s voice started drifting down with the invisible lift and he returned, hands full of two bags of muffins and singing the Lion King at the top of his voice. Ianto joined in with the chorus with a grin and sashayed down to collect the bags, almost dancing back up to the kitchen area to make an extra cup of coffee and store the muffins safely. Somewhere behind him he can hear Guron laughing at them, probably over the top of his mug as he had so often during the last week, especially during these private times when it was just the three of them in the Hub. These times were for laughter and friendship and all the Disney movies they’d introduced the alien to since they’d found each other and for forgetting that they were in an underground base where they worked to protect the world from alien threats. This week had reminded him of what he was fighting for, the reasons he did this job every day; so that everyone else who didn’t know about aliens or the rift got to live this life every day.

He took a tray with their usual choices up to the conference room, it was a usual morning. He’d had his usual pang of embarrassment at waking up curled against Jack, his usual longing to wrap himself around him again and go back to sleep, the usual coffee making and muffin runs, the usual rendition of Disney songs, the usual industrial strength coffee and Lemon Drop muffin for Jack, mocha with double chocolate for him and cranberry and Echinacea with cherry and white chocolate for Guron, and the usual atmosphere. But it was all different. Never before had he woken up in Jack’s bed, and wanted to do more than just go back to sleep with him, never before had Jack done his chores and muffin run, never before had he danced around the Hub. Never before had it been goodbye.

They all knew it without it being said, no words were necessary; the air of closure the previous night had told them all in its own way, and now nothing could ever be the same. But none of them mentioned it; they laughed about the idea of Boris Johnson becoming Prime Minister (Guron promised that if that ever happened he would move to Britain permanently), argued about the best car of the last ten years and played cards. About half an hour after they got settled Tosh appeared and was dragged into the game, Owen wasn’t long after but managed to resist the draw with arguments of autopsy notes to update, and Gwen appeared soon after him, sadly precipitating the end of the game, because having everyone there somehow meant they had work to do.

As they disappeared off to various corners of the underground base, Jack watched his team doing what they did and doing it well. Ianto, Guron and Tosh were going through the weapons, categorising them and boxing them up for transport to Torchwood 1, Gwen was working her way through police systems and talking to contacts to get the two men they’d arrested well and truly hung out to dry and Owen was working through his notes of pain of decaff coffee until he got them done. How the medic managed to be behind constantly Jack would never know.

He took a sip from his coffee and sighed in pleasure as he lent more on the railings. Watching his team work was one of the most relaxing things Jack had ever experienced, Ianto’s coffee was another, his presence yet another. So to combine the three, he took his coffee down to the table where Ianto was currently glaring at Tosh and Guron over the top of a large, high-energy laser gun. When he noticed the Captain’s presence he turned to him with an almost pleading look, “Sir, I’m right, aren’t I?”

“I don’t know Ianto, but I know that that’s a Chula weapon.” He picked it up and winked at the young man as he rested it against his hip in a heroic pose; he remembered well the days when he’d carried one of these regularly

“Yes, we know that. But Tony from NCIS is acted by the same person as Eyes Only in Dark Angel, isn’t he?”

Jack rolled his eyes and laughed, “Yes, they are, but don’t ask me his name. Abby and Max were always more my type, I liked the Goth chick thing and the leather cat-suit, respectively.” Tosh looked slightly smug, although more than slightly put out that she was wrong; he knew about the debates that went on when he was out of the room, and he knew that the only person who really knew his ‘inclinations’ wouldn’t breath a word to the others. He was coming to rely so much on the young man, personally as well as professionally, that it almost scared him, because he knew that he wouldn’t be there to lean on forever.

As he rolled up his sleeves and mucked in with the categorising and packing he felt involved, more involved than he had for a long time. This team were his family; Tosh was his little sister, Gwen his big sister, Owen wasn’t a brother as such, possibly a childhood friend who just inhabited the spare room or a camp bed on his bedroom floor, Guron was a cousin he rarely saw but had a fantastic laugh with whenever he did, and Ianto was so not his brother it wasn’t even funny. He’d never seen Ianto as a brother, which he was very grateful for; Ianto was more like his best friend, possibly boyfriend. Dear God, his head was messed up, his life was messed up. It had been so much easier during those two years in the 1960s when it had been him, a motorbike and lots of hippy communes. He’d never bought into the hippy ‘save the world’ ‘free love’ thing; most people would find it hard to believe that he couldn’t separate love and sex, and love was far too valuable and painful to give away that freely. Maybe if he had bought into it he’d be able to love more freely now, maybe he’d be able to stop himself falling for Ianto, but he’d probably regret it if he did.

He’d probably have screwed most of his team by now, he reflected as he heard Gwen calling him across the Hub. She was waving a printout from the police and was trying to hide a broad, triumphant grin, “Got them on about six counts Jack, without having to mention Torchwood once, about 30 odd years each!”

“Well done Gwen, how did you explain away the bananas?”

“Mellow yellow production.” Her grin exploded onto her face fully and he threw his head back and laughed

“Genius Gwen! A stroke of undiluted brilliance.” He turned back to the weapons and met Guron’s eyes unwillingly; the alien had a maelstrom of emotions in his dark sparkling eyes, pain, grief and loss mingling with triumph and a sad resignment

“I think this is goodbye then Captain.”