Late Night Loss Chapter 23

[galadriel1010]

“Hey, who the hell are you?!” Jack’s voice echoed from behind them and they swung round in astonishment to be greeted by the sight of Jack approaching them. “Who are you, why do you look like me and what are you doing with my boyfriend?”

Ianto’s eyes boggled, this man looked just like Jack, he sounded just like him, he was identical, apart from the almost unbelievable levels of campness, “Excuse me?” He stuttered it out in shock

“Gareth, this is me, the real me. I have no idea who that is…” He pointed in disgust and there was more than a trace of panic in his tone, “But he’s an impostor.”

“I have no idea what you’re talking about.” He stated, gripping tightly to Jack’s hand, but my name’s not Gareth, it’s Ianto.”

“And he’s my husband.” Jack practically spat the word, “Now I’m Captain Jack Harkness, who are you?”

The stranger gave them an incredulous look. “Don’t be stupid.” He folded his arms in a way that was totally Jack and yet not remotely Jack, “Captain Jack Harkness is fictional, he’s the character I play.” His eyes widened in shock, “Oh. My. God! Are they creating a spin off? They are, aren’t they? I can’t believe they didn’t tell me, we should be the first to know!” Then another realisation seemed to sweep over him and his face fell, “Oh God, they’re probably going to give up on us, we’ll be consigned to the well and destroyed.”

Their heart went out to the Jack-a-like, strange though he was. Jack himself stepped forwards, although he hesitated before touching the fictional version of himself or not himself, he squeezed his shoulder comfortingly, “I have no idea what you’re talking about, but we’re not from a spin-off. We’re from the outland.”

He shook his head sadly, “You’re mad. And…”

“John!” A thick Welsh accent hailed from down the corridor and the fictional man turned towards it, tears starting in his eyes, “John, what are you doing here? I’ve been looking for you everywhere. What’s up?” The newcomer was like Ianto, but not like Ianto. He was bigger, ‘built like a brick shit house’ as Ianto’s mum would have said, probably a rugby player judging by the Wales shirt and the solidity of his build, and his accent was actually so thick that you could have cut it with a spoon

“I…” John looked between the couple and, presumable Gareth, and shook his head, “I don’t know.”

The younger man glared at the hand resting on his boyfriend’s shoulder and Jack removed it as though burned, “Who the Hell are you?”

“We’re outlanders.” Ianto jumped in, subtly placing himself between Jack and the look-a-likes, “We’re lost in the book world, and we look like you, which is making more sense to me by the moment.” He turned back to his lover with a half smile, “You remember that book Mark was writing, Mark in London?”

Dawning realisation lifted Jack’s countenance, “Oh. The one about Torchwood but not… Jazz was keeping an eye on it.”

“Making sure it’s not too accurate, but he’s bright enough.” He grinned, “I didn’t realise he’d got any further than a general idea.”

“He hasn’t.” Gareth interrupted with a voice that was pure acid, “We’re still in the development stages, but John’s already tipped to knock Zhark off his pedestal.” There was pride evident in his voice, although he had yet to touch his partner, “That’s if we ever get published. At the moment it’s stalled and there’s talk of it being stopped completely.”

“What’ll happen if it doesn’t get published?”

Gareth’s tone was bitter, “The book will be destroyed and we’ll be sold off, probably separately.”

”We might get the alternative they’re talking about.” John suggested timidly, a brilliant smile lighting his face when Gareth finally took his hand, “Then we could still be together.”

His partner shrugged but pulled him closer, “I doubt it will happen, John, I really do. It’s all hot air.”

Ianto’s heart bled for them; unlike Jack he had read every single one of Jasper Fforde’s books, “When we get home, I’ll write the damned book myself if I have to. I’ll have a word with Mark…” He shook his head, “We’ll help you, I promise.”

“There’s nothing you can do.” John said miserably, “Thursday’s tried even, but she can’t do anything with the plot. Or with us, we’re just too two-dimensional.”

“Well I think we can definitely help there.” Jack flashed his doppel-ganger a grin, “I’m full of ideas me.”

“You’ve only just met us though.” Gareth asked suspiciously, “Why would you want to help us?”

“Because we’re Torchwood, and you’re cute.”

“Jack…”

“What?” He shrugged, “He looks like you, do you expect me to think any differently, really?”

Ianto grinned, “Maybe not, gentlemen, I think we should find a pub. We’re good in pubs.”

Gareth led the way into the small, dark, smoky establishment and did his best to ignore the looks being sent their way. He and Ianto went to get the drinks and John explained quietly, “The book world’s a bit… Closed.” He shrugged sadly, “A lot of people think that because we’re gay and the main characters, our book should be consigned to the LGBT section. Or just not published at all.”

“Yeah, a lot of people are like that outside too.” Jack agreed, “All we can do is believe in ourselves and try to prove them wrong.”

Gareth and Ianto returned to their table with the drinks and settled down next to their respective partners. The fictional man seemed reluctant to show affection in public, but when Jack slipped his arm around Ianto’s waist and the young man leaned into the embrace he seemed to relax slightly and took his own lover’s hand, entwining their fingers on the tabletop. John seemed endearingly and almost painfully surprised by the action. Jack watched the interaction with subtle interest, “So, what’s your story, how do you get together?”

“Well, we’re actors.” Gareth explained, “The story starts out with me getting a part on this new sci-fi drama series as the leader of a government organisation. I meet John at the first get together for the cast and he’s one of my employees in the series, a tech wizard really. His character’s straight, but mine’s bi and I fall for him and seduce him, quite forcefully at times. In real life though, he’s gay and I’m straight and I find myself falling for him whilst we’re filming, but he wants nothing to do with me because he’s spoken for. Eventually though he can’t deny the attraction and with us spending so much time together, and kissing and stuff, on set…”

“We get together.” John finished for him, “And, well… I quite look forwards to the getting together bit each time.”

“What’s your other half called?” Ianto asked with dawning amusement and astonishment

“Andy, he’s a police officer.”

“And you say you’re having problems with…”

“With everything.” Gareth finished for him bitterly, “The only thing that works is the sexual tension between us because we so badly want to get into each other’s pants. But we can’t fake disinterest.”

“So what you really need is a plot that allows you to have sexual tension and be together…”

“And still have a plot that can’t be consigned to the GLBT shelves?”

“We need the impossible, basically.” They looked thoroughly miserable

Ianto grinned, “I need to kick Mark’s arse, I’ll tell you that. But I think we can help.” He proceeded to tell them his and Jack’s story, leaving nothing out and he could practically see the cogs turning in their minds, “So, what do you think, can we help you?”

“You know…” Gareth started, but he was interrupted by a barmaid putting a hand on his shoulder and whispering something in his ear. His face paled and he clutched John’s hand tighter, “Oh shit.”

“What’s up?” Jack looked around, suddenly alert

“You won’t see him.” Gareth swallowed, “It’s Big Tony.”

John looked terrified, Gareth was only slightly better; Jack and Ianto just looked confused and alert, “Who’s big Tony?”

“No, Big Tony, with a capital B. He’s… He rules the Well of Lost Plots with an iron paw.”

“Paw?” Jack looked endearingly perplexed

“Paw. He’s a cat. But a big cat.”

Ianto reached for his gun before remembering that it was in the outland, he shook his head, in the real world, “When you say big, are we thinking tiger?”

“Bit bigger than a tiger…”

“Elephant?”

“Big elephant.” Gareth drained his drink and stood up, “We need to get back to our book, and you need to get out of here.”

“We’ll come with you, for the moment anyway.” Jack insisted, “We’ve got a plot to sort out.”

“It’s too dangerous.”

“We’re good with dangerous.” Ianto reassured him, “Now let’s get going.”

John hesitated a moment, just long enough for Gareth to push past him and lead them towards the lifts, “Come on then floor…”

“Negative B?” Ianto guessed, “The author’s a friend of mine, and I am going to kick his arse seriously when we get back.” He swatted Jack playfully when the older man chuckled, “What?”

“You.” Jack laughed, “I love you.”

“I know.”

John and Gareth had stopped in their tracks ahead of them though, terror radiating from them as they clutched onto each other tightly. The outlanders also stopped, their senses heightened as they scanned for threats. There, ahead of them, a large cat watched them. “That’s Big Tony?”

“No. No it’s not. Big Tony is… bigger.” Gareth whispered, “And more dangerous. And more threatening. And generally more…”

“We need to get out of here, properly out of here.” John turned to them, “Carrot, we need to find Carrot.”

“As in Carrot form the Discworld?” Ianto asked

“Yeah, that Carrot. He’s pretty much the only person who Big Tony fears who we could easily find.” Gareth backtracked and took Jack’s hand, pulling out his travel book. “Do you trust us?”

”Yes, completely.” Jack looked up at the cat, who was now twitching his tail angrily. “He doesn’t look happy.”

“He’s not…” John agreed.