galadriel1010: (Default)
galadriel1010 ([personal profile] galadriel1010) wrote2011-05-06 08:40 pm

Oneshot: Measuring Up

What is it about ffrants that leads me to write cracky porn? Wrote this a few days ago for [livejournal.com profile] heddychaa, then came home and sort of forgot about it.

It's measuring tape porn, stemming from this entry

PWP, Jack/Ianto, the usual


Jack’s chest heaved with his heavy breathing, and he craned his neck to be able to watch Ianto handling his cock with care. It was wet from Ianto’s mouth, erect and proud, and Jack felt sure that he was mere seconds away from coming if Ianto kept looking at it like that. He tugged on the tie around his wrists and groaned when it gave no more than it had the last time he tried that. “Ianto, if you don’t do something…”

“I’m thinking,” Ianto told him, squeezing tighter and leaning to the side to reach for something with his other hand. “We have an argument to settle.”

Jack couldn’t remember any arguments they’d ever had, nor how they met, how they got here or what his name was, and he couldn’t quite understand why they were important. Still, if Ianto kept squeezing like that… “Argument?”

Ianto chuckled and held up a flexible tape measure. “Argument.” He bent down again and Jack had to strain to see him wrap it around the base of his cock. “Interesing.” Smiling thoughtfully, Ianto released the tape measure and reached across the bed for something else, then released Jack’s cock completely and knelt up, leaning over Jack’s torso and bringing the tip of a biro to tough the smooth expanse of his stomach. “Don’t move,” he warned. “I don’t want to have to do this more times than I have to.”

He didn’t really want to care what Ianto was doing, but his interest had been piqued in more than one way. “What are you doing down there?”

“Geometry,” Ianto answered, sparing him a glare before focusing on his chest again. The pen started moving slowly, creating a momentary sharp pain followed by a dull throb that added to the rest of the sensations coursing through his body. “Calculating the volume of a cylinder, if you hadn’t already guessed.”

That took a couple of minutes to make sense, and even then it didn’t much. “You’re calculating the volume of my dick?”

“Like I said,” Ianto sighed, not stopping in the short movements of his pen across Jack’s stomach. “We have an argument to settle, and volume is the best measure.”

Jack was fairly sure that Ianto had gone mad, but as Ianto had tied him to the headboard quite securely he decided not to point this out. Instead, he waited until Ianto had sat back on his heels to ask, “And what’s the conclusion?”

Ianto rolled his eyes fondly and patted Jack’s thigh. “I need more data points. Good job I have plenty of space for calculations, really. Don’t move for a while, I forgot to bring my calculator.”

As had left the room, Jack felt justified in whimpering at the ceiling. It was going to be a long night.

[identity profile] milady-dragon.livejournal.com 2011-05-06 09:00 pm (UTC)(link)
I FREAKING LOVE YOU

(and why am I capslocking every comment I leave for you today?)

[identity profile] fiwen1010.livejournal.com 2011-05-07 06:34 pm (UTC)(link)
THANK YOU :D

(I'm having a good day, I guess ;) )

[identity profile] sariagray.livejournal.com 2011-05-06 10:06 pm (UTC)(link)
kghkhjgjhlkjsdl

This. Yes. Love.

[identity profile] fiwen1010.livejournal.com 2011-05-07 06:37 pm (UTC)(link)
*Doffs cap and bows* This is why I should not be allowed near a keyboard.

[identity profile] treacle-tartlet.livejournal.com 2011-05-07 01:56 am (UTC)(link)
SO WONDERFUL. SO VERY WONDERFUL. Oh, Ianto...

[identity profile] fiwen1010.livejournal.com 2011-05-07 06:37 pm (UTC)(link)
Thank you :D Ianto will want as many measurements as he can get.
ext_550863: (Default)

[identity profile] usakiwigirl.livejournal.com 2011-05-07 04:43 am (UTC)(link)
Dear Lord, I think this is quite possibly the best use of a tape-measure yet!

[identity profile] fiwen1010.livejournal.com 2011-05-07 06:38 pm (UTC)(link)
Thank you XD I do worry about my mind sometimes. But accuracy in these things is important.

[identity profile] lefaym.livejournal.com 2011-05-07 05:12 am (UTC)(link)
Hahahaha, sneaky tricksy Ianto!

This was lovely. :)

[identity profile] fiwen1010.livejournal.com 2011-05-07 06:39 pm (UTC)(link)
Ianto just seeks accuracy in these things. Glad you liked :D
ext_3966: (Default)

[identity profile] lone-star-woman.livejournal.com 2011-05-07 06:01 am (UTC)(link)
Geometry! Crack Porn! Yay!

Loved this.

[identity profile] fiwen1010.livejournal.com 2011-05-07 06:40 pm (UTC)(link)
Everything is better with maths! Except maths.

[identity profile] musicaluvr.livejournal.com 2011-05-07 06:29 am (UTC)(link)
*lolz* Only Ianto :D Poor Jack is indeed in for a long night, But never mind Ianto will make it up to him...

<3

[identity profile] fiwen1010.livejournal.com 2011-05-07 06:42 pm (UTC)(link)
Ianto will definitely make it up to him. And then Jack will have to take his turn, and someone pointed out that displacement is the best and most accurate measure of volume.

That idea ought to keep them amused for a while

[identity profile] mcparrot.livejournal.com 2011-05-07 01:11 pm (UTC)(link)
Snorted burbon on the laptop - not good.

Very good fic tho.

went and read the post too - giggled some more. Where did it come from and why?

[identity profile] fiwen1010.livejournal.com 2011-05-07 06:43 pm (UTC)(link)
I do apologise for the bourbon.
Glad you liked it though :D We have these discussions on ffrants sometimes, and I never know quite where they come from. It was all Heddy's fault this time.

[identity profile] jolinarjackson.livejournal.com 2011-05-07 03:15 pm (UTC)(link)
:D Poor Jack!

[identity profile] fiwen1010.livejournal.com 2011-05-07 06:43 pm (UTC)(link)
Poor Jack indeed, but I'm sure he'll enjoy it ;)
bk_forever: (Happy To See Jack)

[personal profile] bk_forever 2011-05-07 03:46 pm (UTC)(link)
*snort* Ianto loves to be thorough and accurate! If he's going to do something, he makes sure he does it right =)

The mental images I have from this as beyond X-rated - I feel like I need to provide proof of my age before I can even think about them!

[identity profile] fiwen1010.livejournal.com 2011-05-07 06:44 pm (UTC)(link)
Ianto seeks accuracy in everything. No one likes a half-arsed job, after all.

Enjoy the mental images ;)

[identity profile] a-silver-story.livejournal.com 2011-07-14 12:14 am (UTC)(link)
LOLOLOL I CAN SEE IT HAPPENING. XD Thank you!

[identity profile] fiwen1010.livejournal.com 2011-07-14 09:58 am (UTC)(link)
Thanks :D Glad I made you XD.
Rxxx

[identity profile] iballs2entrails.livejournal.com 2011-07-14 01:20 am (UTC)(link)
This was fantastic! I love crack!pr0n :)

[identity profile] fiwen1010.livejournal.com 2011-07-14 09:58 am (UTC)(link)
Thank you :D There should be more crack!pr0n in the world
Gxxx

[identity profile] neeems.livejournal.com 2011-07-16 05:37 am (UTC)(link)
Hahaha, this was AWESOME.

[identity profile] beesandbrews.livejournal.com 2011-08-10 01:55 pm (UTC)(link)
How did I miss THIS? Great job!