galadriel1010 | Me and communication

I've always been a bit of a loner; I had very few friends at primary school, and this came to suit me after a while. Despite having a great number of characters by that stage, usually made up of my hands and stationery, I went through an artificial process of creating an imaginary friend for myself, because I thought that children needed imaginary friends. Today I have characters I vent to, and a whole raft of imaginary friends - I even have an imaginary girlfriend. Some of you are my imaginary friends.

So one of the reasons I'm so bad at communicating is because I just spoke to you yesterday. I composed this long message to you in my head, and I just don't remember that I didn't actually send it. It might even be that I made up an entire conversation with you because I needed someone to talk to, and although I'm aware that you weren't actually there... it never really occurs to me to question the conversation.

Yes, I'm aware that this is probably a neurosis of some sort but, quite honestly, I don't give a monkey's except when I realise that it means that I've not actually spoken to people in a long time.

Another problem I have with communication is that I'm fairly shy, really. I'm not beyond making the first move, or even the second. But eventually I'll stop. Periodically, I'll make a concerted effort to get out and comment on people's journals and say hello, get to meet people, and then that will fizzle out and the people I keep in contact with will be the ones who said hi back. This seems logical and sensible to me, and it probably is logical and sensible. The bit where I'm dubious about the sense is the bit where I assume that if you don't respond, it's because you don't like me. It's a bit of a one chance thing, because I am frighteningly quick to assume that you don't want me around.

There's some people who I'm trying really, really hard not to feel like that with, when all my instincts are screaming at me to retreat, lick my wounds and then cauterise them. I'm not willing to give up yet, though.

My other issue is relatively minor, but I hate phones with a passion. I disliked them before I worked in telesales and then data cleansing in a very short period of time, but now I can actually feel ill about the thought of having to make a phone call. That's mostly for official phonecalls, like the "I gave you the money, why have you done this?", but if I'm at all nervous of my reception... yeah, there we go.

And then there's the fact that, as you'll know if you've spoken to me on MSN or in real life, I can do long pauses and companionable silence. I like companionable silence, but I feel like I owe it to you to fill it, especially on the phone. I suck at filling silences - I always end up channelling Jack and leering at you. It's getting me a reputation, or a complex.

So the tl;dr is... I'm not anti-social. I'm just enjoying the companionable silence, talking to you in my head, or waiting for you to make a move.

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LOL - thanks, babe, I needed a little bit of randomness to settle my nerves! Be companionably quiet all you want, that's the way I am too. I quite enjoy being by myself and the silence, it really is golden!

Randomness I can definitely provide ;)

Silence is especially valuable if you have to share headspace with noisy characters.

I can completely understand the phone thing. Right now, I'm actually waiting for my coworker to leave for the day...so that I can make a phone call I should have made hours ago. XD; Because the only thing I hate worse than phone calls is other people listening in on my phone calls. Even if it's just a stupid work-related thing. >_>

And I often have these attacks of feeling really shy, too. :/ I frequently wonder if I know how to maintain friendships properly, because lots of times I feel like I'm waiting for other people to make the first (or second, or whatever) move...and then I wonder why I haven't heard from someone for months... @_@

So yeah, I really hear you on this. *hugs* And I also think it's okay~ Everyone's a different kind of friend, and I think the people who are meant to reach you, will? Hopefully? <3 [/rambling] ^^

I prefer to have my mum in the room if I'm making important phonecalls, like to the bank, because I'm still very much a mummy's girl. I got better when I was away, but I'd still rather go and find someone and talk to them face to face.

Some people are better at the long-distance friendships with minimal contact, I think. And we seem to gravitate together, which is good. Not so useful offline, though.

I hate talking on the phone, except to a couple of people. I even have trouble talking to my boyfriend on the phone and I've known him 30 years!

I used to be incredibly shy, had only one real friend at school most of the time, and just didn't get along with many people. While I'm definitely not shy now, I'm perfectly happy with my own company much of the time, and even now, I work out what I'm going to say to people ahead of time, or go over and over a conversation aftewards, thinking of all the things I should/should not have said. And I talk to myself all the time, sometimes in my head, sometimes out loud. I don't care if people think I'm strange or weird - I'm most likely both, but it's who I am and I don't feel any need to change.

I accept people as they are and like them for who they are, and that includes you!

*Hugs*
I have one friend frmo primary school who I still talk to, and I probably wouldn't still talk to her if I didn't live with her (which pretty much killed our friendship from my side, but there you go). But if anyone I went to primary school with turned up on my doorstep, none of that would matter.

My door is always open for people passing by this way, because it's so awesome just getting the chance to sit and chat with someone into the stupid hours of the morning when I know that I could never pick up the phone to talk to them, or even ask for their contact details to talk on MSN.

Being agoraphobic and having health problems means I don't get out much, and my 80 year old mother doesn't like people coming into our house so few people visit. Add to that the fact that I only have a couple of people locally I'd class as a friend (most have moved away) means most days the only people I 'talk' to are my friends on the net. Oddly enough, that's okay with me. The people I've met on the net have proved to be truer friends than my real-life friends who abandoned me when I started having health problems. Such is life! At least I have the internet!

There does tend to be a real hermits united feel and a real understanding in some groups online that you're often not lucky enough to find in people who just happen to live close to you or work with you.

Yeah, it's really been wonderful for me. It's good to talk to like-minded people, share interests etc.

Imaginary friends/characters? Check.
Hatred of talking on the phone? Check.
Constant fear that I'm not wanted? Checked, signed, and sealed.

Can I come through your drinks cabinet yet?

*Hugs*

Imaginary friends/characters? Check.
Hatred of talking on the phone? Check.
Constant fear that I'm not wanted? Checked, signed, and sealed.

And I'd also like to add that sometimes I fear that I'm going to become a cranky old woman yelling at kids to get off her lawn.

I'm very worried about being the mad cat lady who lives on her own and would throw tea parties for the local kids if their parents would let them anywhere near my house.

*Checks the drinks cabinet* I'll have to drink a lot first. And if I drink all of that, I'll believe you've crawled through lol.

LoL.

Aside from some serious depression stuff I'm currently dealing (not dealing) with right now, I think you pretty much just described me.

sariagray said it best... I check all those boxes too.

I think we solitary types gravitate together - hermits united sort of thing. And this is why we get on so well.

I can relate to this a lot. Actually, I think you've pretty much described me to a big extent.

And I get what you mean about not being anti-social, but still being a bit shy and distant. I feel like I have a lot of "one-sided" friendships, not in some creepy stalkerish way where I think I'm best friends with someone and they don't even know my name or anything, but in that I think people tend to make a bigger impression on me than I do on them, and casual, situational interaction is usually enough for me. Listening while my classmates joke and talk about homework is enough to make me feel like I have an active social life, most of the time.

Me and communication

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