Sunday

[galadriel1010]

Jack’s computer started making alarming noises at about five in the morning. With a variety of annoyed and worried noises he ran to shut it up and find out what the problem was before it woke Ianto up, but with no luck. He was packing his bag and heading for the door when the young Welshman padded downstairs looking concerned.

“Rift alert.” He explained, “Nothing to worry about, but I need to go check it out.”

“Want me to come with you?” Ianto offered

Jack hesitated and seemed torn, “Honestly yes, but I’ll be fine, and we don’t really have time for you to get dressed.” He added with a smile.

Ianto looked own as he realised that he was still wearing the scruffy T-shirt and joggers he’d slept in and blushed slightly, which brought a grin to Jack’s face again.

“Don’t do anything I wouldn’t do.” The captain laughed as he pulled his coat on.

“That leaves me with plenty of leeway. Take care of yourself, don’t die or anything like that.”

“Back soon.” Jack called as he pulled the door to behind him.

Quarter of an hour later he pulled the SUV up at the end of a dark alley and got out to meet Tosh, Owen and Gwen. Gwen was liasing with the police officer who’d found whatever it was, Tosh was consulting her PDA and Owen was nursing a cup of takeout coffee, “What have we got here kids?”

“I’m picking up readings of alien tech in the area, but we haven’t found it yet. At the moment we have an alien who appears to have come through the rift, dead by the time PC Williams found him.”

“Cause of death?”

Owen jumped in, “Stab wound to the neck I think, although I’ll have a closer look once we get back to the Hub. Then I’ll also be able to tell if there’s any indication that its death was extra-terrestrial in origin or just it attacked the wrong person.”

Jack nodded his understanding and went to look at the body. It was a hunched, humanoid form, with soft, dark skin, large eyes, a thin layer of soft hair and heavy battle armour. He swore.

“What is it, Jack?” Gwen asked as she approached.

“We’re almost lucky. She’s a Watulah, a race of extremely violent warriors. They live in peace with anything on their planet but anything else is fair game. And normally they carry a lot of weapons; knives, bombs, small bombs. She hasn’t got any.”

“What does that mean?” Tosh asked nervously.

He bent down to examine an empty gun holster and a nick in her let above her boot, “Someone’s taken her weapons, all of them.” He sounded angry, “The knife they keep in their boot, it’s the one they carry from birth, it’s so special to them that they’re buried with it when they die and the marriage ceremony uses it.”

“Was she married?”

“I don’t know without seeing the knife.” He responded sadly, “But our main problem is that someone has her weapons, all of them.”

Gwen sucked in breath rapidly, “I’ll get the police to keep an eye out for any strange weaponry being used, although I suspect they’d probably pass it on to us anyway.”

“Good thinking, “ he approved, “I’ve got a few contacts I can tap to find out if it appears on the black markets, maybe even find out where they’ve got to. Right, let’s get her back to the Hub. Owen can do his thing, Tosh I want you to carry on with your scan, see if you can find the weapons. Gwen, go home to Rhys.”

“What about you?”

“I’m coming back with you, I need to do the report and I want to check on the situation back there and stuff.”

“Haven’t you been there?” Gwen asked before she could stop herself

“No, I’ve been at Ianto’s.” He smiled

“Wait wait wait!” Owen smirked, “Are you doing the tea-boy, Jack?”

Jack fought the annoyance, “No, I can actually spend time with someone without screwing them Owen. Ianto could do with some support at the moment, and I’m more than happy to give it.”

“Fair enough.” Owen conceded, although he didn’t look entirely convinced.

Once back at the Hub Jack disappeared into his office to clear out his inbox, which had piled up fairly horrifically, and organised the forms and responses he needed to send off to UNIT. They were getting a bit overbearing these days, evidently they’d heard the Torchwood One rumours too. He sighed and set the list to the side to sort out once Ianto got back, then called UNIT for the weekly argument before bracing himself for a phone call to the Prime Minister. It was so much better when it was Harriet Jones, she understood about Torchwood. This new boy was clueless.

Several very frustrating hours later he glared at the phone as he slammed it down and snatched it up again to call for a pizza delivery, only to be told that the Cockney had already ordered for them. After checking that he had ordered a meat feast and adding a side of onion rings he put the phone back more gently with a smile on his lips; sometimes it was good to have someone outside who knew about them.

He pushed himself into the main Hub and up to the TI office to wait for the delivery, then ran down to the conference room, calling for his team as he went. They ate the pizza as they discussed the day’s events, the rugby from the day before, anything but Ianto and Lisa. Jack checked his watch and realised with shock that almost seven hours had passed since he left the young man, he hadn’t intended to be gone more than two. Snatching the last onion ring before Owen could reach it he stood up and headed towards the door, “You all have the rest of the day off as long as you’re finished from this morning. I am doing. Don’t do anything I wouldn’t do.” He winked at them, repeating his instruction to Ianto on his way out.

Owen stared at the girls, “Did I just imagine that?”

“Don’t argue Owen!” Gwen laughed as she dragged Tosh towards the door behind Jack, “Just enjoy the time off.”

Jack opened the door to Ianto’s flat and reflected momentarily that he’d just walked straight in. The thought was driven from his mind by a sound coming from the living room again. Within seconds he was by Ianto’s side, holding the young man who was crying as though he’d never stop. The captain held him, whispered soothingly and cursed himself for ever leaving. They’d come so far, but apparently Ianto needed him more than he’d known. Fucking fantastic.

Actually… for the first time in many, many years it almost felt good to have someone who needed him. Normally it terrified him, because he came and went and couldn’t trust himself; but Ianto was… different. Ianto knew about him, he knew about Torchwood, he knew about the Doctor and he understood. So for now, for as long as Ianto needed, he could and would trust himself to be there.

After a while, Ianto regained control of his breathing and tensed in Jack’s arms as he realised where he was, but it didn’t last long as he allowed the familiarity and safety to envelope him once again. He sniffed and wiped the tears from his cheeks whilst Jack pulled back slightly and watched him concernedly. “Sorry, Jack. I just…”

Jack squeezed him gently to silence him and stood up, offering his hand to help the young Welshman to his feet, “You have nothing to apologise for, Yan. I’m the one who should apologise, I never should have left you in the first place, and I definitely shouldn’t have been gone as long as I was.”

“That’s not your fault, saving the world ranks way above looking after me.”

“Not for me.” Jack replied honestly, cursing mentally as he realised that he’d said it out loud. He hurriedly tried to cover it, terrified that Ianto would see through him like he usually did and realise how pathetic he was, “So, you going to tell me what’s wrong?”

Ianto sank on the sofa and started playing with a cushion, so Jack perched himself on the arm of the sofa opposite, watching his friend carefully. “I had a panic attack.” Ianto admitted bluntly, “I don’t know what brought it on or set it off or whatever, I just… I don’t know, I was scared that, that something had happened, something major and it was the end of the world of something, and that I wouldn’t see you again. I was scared something had happened to you.” He couldn’t meet Jack’s eyes now, not after that admission, because he didn’t really know how he felt about Jack, but there was no way Jack could feel the same. He’d been nice enough, that was true, but Ianto was just a fairly stupid Welshman, and Jack was an immortal time traveller from the future. They could never be even close friends. It scared Ianto just how much that idea hurt.

When he finally looked up at the Captain he was surprised by the look on Jack’s face. His friend was staring at a point on the floor with a bleak look and appeared to be fighting tears. “Jack.” Jack looked up, startled, “Jack what’s the matter? What did I say?”

“Sorry, Yan.” Jack swallowed the lump in his throat, “I just… I guess it’s been a while since I felt like anyone actually worried about me, I guess.”

“We all worry about you, Jack. We’re a team, we’re there to worry about each other.”

“The others don’t. They worry about what would happen without me, yeah. But I don’t think they actually worry about me, because they don’t know me. I never let anyone get close enough because as soon as I do they’re gone, and they take a part of me with them.”

“I’m sorry, Jack.”

He shook his head, “No, thank you. It means a lot to me that…” He trailed off; worried about the route this was going down and shook his head again, “I need a drink, you?”

“Yeah, thanks. Fancy a trip to the pub, I haven’t left the house in days.” He suggested, they both needed a bit of space and, quite frankly, he was getting cabin fever.

They walked in silence to a pub just around the corner where, Ianto assured Jack, they did a range of real ales; you just couldn’t beat proper beer, it was the best thing about this tiny blue planet. Settled in a corner with a pint each and some classic rock coming from the jukebox (Ianto was quite happy for the others to know that he liked Led Zep, it meant that they never even considered the idea that he might end up with Jack, which had been assumed of everyone who’d worked at Torchwood since he’d been there. Even Owen.), they relaxed and tried to forget the usual worries of Torchwood and a half converted cyber girlfriend. Jack let his head fall backwards and then reflected on how difficult that made drinking, so he raised it again, “So… Since we’re generally miserable, how about we tell cheerful stories for once, preferably ones that don’t get all maudlin at the end.” He paused, “Not sure I’ve got many of those actually.”

“OK, stop right there Harkness. You’re already going maudlin!” Ianto laughed, “OK, I think I have some cheerful stories that aren’t remotely maudlin. Scouts, that’s a good one.”

“You were in the scouts?”

“You mean you hadn’t guessed?” He teased, “Yeah, I was a boy scout, and a leader for a while once I got too old for it, but then my life got swallowed by Torchwood.”

“Maudlin! Stick to the story.”

“Fiiiine.” He sighed, “Scout camp was always brilliant, always. I remember this one time we went to Pembrokeshire and it was beautiful! We walked the coast path, all of it, God we were knackered by the end of each day, but when we walked along the beaches we’d take our boots off and just walk along the edge of the water. At night we camped wherever we’d got to and did the proper camping thing. We cooked on gas stoves, because it’s hard cooking camp stew on a fire, but we had a barbeque one night and once we’d eaten we’d have a proper camp fire with marshmallows and stories and scouting songs.”

“Like what?” Jack asked, genuinely intrigued and thrilled to see the happiness in Ianto’s eyes at the recollections.

“Ooooh, Black Crow Spirit in the Happy Hunting Ground?” Jack shook his head, “Swing Low. Jerusalem was always popular too, you must know those?”

“’Course I know Jerusalem and Swing Low, who doesn’t? But you’ll have to tech me the other.”

“Yeah, well. Team camping trip and lots of alcohol and maybe I will.”

“Now there’s an idea.” Jack smirked, his usual glint back in his eye, “Tents are great fun.”

“Now something tells me there’s a story there.” Ianto leaned forwards in delight.

“Not really,” he grinned, “We rarely got as far as the tent.”

“You and who?”

“Oh loads.” He shrugged, “Not recently mind, one lad during the 1960s, a girl in the 1980s. Pete and Karen they were called, still are actually. Both married, Pete just the other year when the civil partnerships rule came in, but he’s with the guy he left me for back in the 80s.”

“Maudlin Jack!”, although he felt sorry for the older man who had loved and lost so many over the years. “This is supposed to be cheerful”

“Cheerful you say. OK, I can probably manage cheerful.”

“Can you do it without sex being involved?”

“Yes.” Jack feigned indignation, “Although the woman I was sleeping with is involved. Actually, no…” He trailed off and stared at his drink again, “That gets too maudlin.”

“She must have been special.” He said quietly and sympathetically. “Was that Jasmine?”

“Yeah, she was incredible. It was so wrong, she must have been twenty years younger than me at least, but it just felt so right. I was lost from the first moment I saw her.”

“What happened?”

“She was attacked, by a Hoix in the centre of London. We were just there on a flying visit, Rose wanted a new pair of jeans or something, and we saw it down a back alley and chased it. She was living on the streets, almost leading the other kids. She compared herself to Gavroche in Les Miz, the leader of the gamines. But she was on her own when she was attacked; Rose and the Doctor got the Hoix and I got her, caught her as she fell. And she begged me not to save her.”

“So you did.”

“Of course, I never really had a choice, did I? Even if I had I would have anyway. She was so young, I had to give her something to hang on to. We took her into the TARDIS and she recovered, and she found something to hang on to.”

“You.” Ianto smiled at the look in Jack’s eyes, although it troubled him.

“Yeah, we made a right pair, I wrecked the joint, and she put it back together again. I lost count of the number of times I almost destroyed the world.”

“Seriously?” Ianto asked in horror.

“Well, it was only twice, and once was responding to an SOS call, so I don’t consider that entirely my fault.”

“You what?”

“Well it wasn’t, how was I to know that responding to the signal would have that effect?” Jack sounded defensive

“No, I mean, how did responding to the call cause the end of the world?”

“Oh, well it was on the Novrosk Peninsular in Russia, hasn’t happened yet I don’t think. And it was a distress call from an alien spaceship with a sort of biological computer that used these blue blobby things to absorb energy from living creatures to charge up the engines and they went on a sort of rampage.” He pulled a wry face, “Insane computers, I’ve had more than enough of them to last me a lifetime. Even my lifetime!” He chuckled, “God, sometimes I wish it could end. I don’t usually want it to end there and then but, you know? The option would be nice.”

“When did you last want to die, really want to die?”

“When the cyberwoman had hold of me.” He said quietly, “I just… I’d never been killed by a cyberman before, I hoped that maybe it would do the job.”

“Why?” Ianto dreaded the answer

“Because it hurt, not being killed, that always hurts, but the idea that you kept something like that from me, from all of us.” His eyes were bleak and empty, “I thought we were friends and, and, I kind of fancy you.” He muttered into his drink, “And it was sort of confirmation that you’d never want to go out with me, which always stings.”

Ianto sat in silence, the guilt tearing him apart inside as he realised what he’d put Jack through and tried to digest what he’d just been told. One fact floated through the confusion though, “You fancy me?”

Jack looked surprised, “Hadn’t you guessed?”

“Well, no. I mean, you flirt with anyone, how was I supposed to know?”

“Fair point.” Jack sighed but for the first time in as long as he could remember Ianto couldn’t read his face, “I need another drink, want a refill?”

“Thanks.” Ianto passed him his glass, “I am flattered though.” He added as an afterthought as Jack turned away, “I wouldn’t have thought I was your type.”

“Well, now you know. And…” He hesitated and blushed again, the second time in the history of the world Ianto thought, he must be on a roll, “Can we get more cheerful and forget this every happened when I come back? I don’t think I’m up to deep and meaningful.”

“Sure.” He smiled.

Later that night he lay in his bed and Jack lay in his own (it had arrived during the day and he’d forgotten to mention it until they got home) and he missed having the captain there. Jack had become a reassuring weight on the mattress, not close even though they were sharing a bed but just there. Always there when the nightmares took hold, always ready to listen. For a moment, Ianto wondered what it would be like to be in a proper relationship with the mysterious Captain Jack Harkness; he was loving and compassionate, he would give everything for the people he cared about and all he asked in return was something to hold onto and someone to listen and to know, to know the real Jack Harkness, the man behind the Captain. Ianto didn’t know if he was up to the job. Besides, he was straight; he’d never fancied another man in his life, so why the hell was he attracted to Jack?

He groaned and rolled over to stare at the place where Jack had slept the last three nights and made a decision. He didn’t want to be the one to keep Jack there, because the time was coming. Some day soon, the Doctor would come, and if Jack had anything to stay for he would. Ianto had to keep his distance to make sure that Jack would go when he needed to, and he would be the one to pick up the pieces when he left and it would be easier if he didn’t give Jack a piece of his heart to take with him. Now to stick to the resolution.

Disclaimer: Not mine, nohing to do with me, honest, I just put it down on the computer

Author's note: I hate it when that happens. I write a happy bit and Jack gets all moody and tries to declare love to Ianto, I tried to write an angsty bit and it turns fluffy, they really want to get together don't they? And yes, yet more AU with Jazzy there, all will be revealed before too long, I promise. Two chapters to go, let's see if they'll start behaving themselves now shall we?