galadriel1010 | Out Of Place: Chapter 26

Looong delay on this, for which I apologise. Actually wrote it a few month ago, but failed to crosspost, because I am silly. Going to try a masterlist soon, see if that works.

Author's Note: I apologise, this has turned into an inglorious crack!fic. This chapter, and all Jack Saturday related yumminess in this story, dedicated to Lizzy, but belong to Jesse Hajicek.

By the way, I now Tweet lol. Same username if you're interested.

Onwards

“Where the fucking chuff is it?”

Ianto smirked into his mug and took a slice of toast off the pile on the table, staying out of the activity. His Jack was sitting opposite him with his own mug and a bowl of Coco Pops and trying very hard to make sure that Other Jack didn’t look at him. Jacob looked slightly worried as he and Other Jack passed each other in the kitchen doorway, “He’s not found it yet then?”

“Apparently not.” Ianto pushed a mug of coffee towards him and indicated a chair. “Just how serious is the situation?”

Jacob accepted the coffee and sank into the seat with a sigh, “Very serious. Jack, well, I don’t know what he’ll do if he doesn’t find it.” Jack was smirking, so Jacob pointed a spoon at him, “It’s serious! Jack and the Jolly Roger go way back! He’d easily trade me for its return.”

“Is that an offer?” Jack’s grin turned mock feral.

Jacob sucked his spoon clean and released it with a pop. “No,” he stood up, “but now I know who has it.”

Ianto rolled his eyes and exchanged a long-suffering smile with Jacob as he left, reaching across the table to pat Jack’s hand. “Don’t worry, Jack. Jacob’s just intelligent.”

He huffed, but turned his hand over to squeeze Ianto’s fingers, “You two are running rings around us, aren’t you?” He glared and pouted, not quite pulling it off in the face of Ianto’s impish grin, “In fact, I seem to recall that this was all your idea.”

Ianto’s eyes widened theatrically, “Don’t be absurd, I would never suggest such a childish, immature course of action.”

“That was tautological...”

“Harkness!” Jack stormed into the room and slammed his hands down on the table, leaning forwards to loom over Jack. Ianto grabbed a slice of toast and went to lean against the work surfaces, next to where Jacob had perched with a heel on the edge of the surface and his knee hugged to his chest. They made an attractive but dangerous pair.

Jack gave Jack his best devil-may-care grin and nodded towards the other men, “I think we may be in trouble there.”

“Oh you are definitely in trouble Harkness.” He leant forwards, cranking the glare up from ‘threatening’ to ‘kill’, “Where. Is. My. Bandana?”

“I think you might be a bit too attached to it, Jack. I’m worried about you.” Jack’s death-glare met Jack’s best concerned-innocence. Ianto’s head was starting to ache, and not just because of the tension in the room (oh come on, he was used to tension – sexual and otherwise).

“I don’t think you’re attached enough to your head, judging by your cavalier attitude.”

Jack smirked and took a casual sip of his coffee.” Really, Jack? Threatening me? What are you going to do, kill me? Or curse me to immortal life?” Jack’s eyes flicked towards Ianto and Jack froze, his expression switching from ‘smirk’ to ‘warning-glare’, “You wouldn’t dare.”

Whatever it was he wouldn’t dare, he clearly wouldn’t, because he merely snatched Jack’s coffee off him and turned away. “If I don’t find it by the end of today, who knows what I’ll dare?”

Jack frowned after him as he left the room, then got up to get himself another coffee. He stood between Ianto’s legs, fingertips resting on his waist, whilst he waited for the new pot to heat through. Jacob returned from checking on Jack and jumped up onto the table, getting Jack’s attention by flicking a grape at him. “You know,” he commented when Jack glared at him, “I’m not sure that baiting him’s the best idea you’ve ever had, Captain.”

Jack pulled away from Ianto reluctantly and poured three fresh mugs of coffee. “No, possibly not.” He grinned, “Damned good fun though.”

“Jack.” Ianto’s warning tone was in contrast to his affectionate eye-roll and the way he pulled Jack back between his legs, with Jack’s back to his chest so that they could both look at Jacob, and his arms went around his waist. Apparently he’d caught Jack’s protective moment too.

Jacob rolled his eyes in a startling imitation of the Welshman and threw a grape at them again. “So where is it?”

“Where is what?” Jack was genuinely distracted, rather than evading, for a change.

“The Jolly Roger,” he tilted his head on one side and smiled, “’cos if he doesn’t find it, he will make your life unpleasant.”

“Jacob,” Ianto grinned, “our normal life consists of chasing aliens through the sewers and trying not to get eaten. Jack Saturday is a kitten compared to a Weevil.”

“We’ll see about that!”

Ianto looked mildly surprised, “His hearing’s good, isn’t it?”

“Yes it is, now where’s my Jolly Roger?” There was a crash from upstairs, followed by the sounds of feet thundering down to the ground floor again, and Jack and Ianto beat a hasty and giggling retreat to the garden.

Ianto shook water out of his hair and wiped it from his eyes with one hand, holding onto the side of the poor with the other and bobbing gently in Jack’s wake. The moonlight seemed to slide off the familiar smooth lines and angles his partner made in the water, transforming them into something less human, less solidly there. Even touch was changed by the cool water, so skin was cooler, softer. And then Jack was there, holding him close against the cold of the water and the power of the moonlight, warm lips and tongue seeking for droplets on his back and shoulders whilst strong, supple fingers and hands turned him and lit fires to chase away the darkness, and it didn’t matter any more. Shadows fled, light became simply light, the water was less cold and Jack was solidly Jack in his arms again.

He chuckled breathily as Jack’s lips ghosted across his ear, then chased his lips with his own and sealed them together, taking Jack’s water-reduced weight in his one-armed grip, whilst the other arm anchored them to the pool wall. They lost themselves in sensation, holding on to reality just enough to remember that they were outside where anyone could see them, but not quite enough to care.

Well, not until they were suddenly deluged from above and an empty plastic bottle bounced off the pool-edge next to his head. They both gasped with shock and glared upwards at a very smug Jack Saturday. In Ianto’s arms, Jack growled and reached out to cover the hand on the pool side, anchoring them more firmly and shifting his grip on Ianto to hold him more possessively. Ianto rolled his eyes.”Hello Jack, can we help you?”

“And why are you wearing my coat? And...” Jack hesitated and his grin slipped slightly, “what are you wearing underneath it?”

When Jack pulled the coat back and put his hands on his hips, they got their answer. He grinned and crouched down next to them, “Now, see, here’s the thing Jack. I know that you know where my Jolly Roger is. And you now know that I know where your coat is. So how about my Jolly Roger finds it way back to me, and your coat will find its way back to you? Savvy?”

Jack dragged his eyes up to Jack’s face and scowled. “Savvy.”

With a smirk, Jack turned away and headed back to the house, leaving the Torchwood men wrapped around each other in the darkness. Ianto shifted his grip on Jack to move behind him, his chest against Jack’s back and his hand on Jack’s chest. He leaned forwards and kissed the skin where Jack’s neck met his shoulder and rested his chin there, “He doesn’t look as good in it as you do.” With his cheek pressed against Jack’s, he could feel him smile when he added, “But then I would think that.”

Jacob sprang and grabbed onto the tree branch above his head, swinging from it idly with a broad grin for his friend. “If the words ‘hanging about’ are anywhere near likely to come from your mind, I’ll leave you behind.” Jack warned him, arms folded grumpily, fighting the smile he wanted to return. “We’ve not got long until dawn, remember.”

“Hmm, yes, of course I could forget, I was just going to hang around out here and burn into a little Jacobs Crisp.” He twitched his legs so that he swung more and finally pulled himself up to sit on the branch. The Captain’s coat fell open around him and hung down under the branch, revealing... quite a lot of Jacob really. There was more of Jack on show though, as he hadn’t put his clothes back on when he’d passed the coat on. It wasn’t like he needed it to keep warm. Ianto had poked his head outside earlier and gone an appealing shade of pink - Jack could see what the other Jack saw in the polite, intelligent, gorgeous... Yeah, there was quite a lot to see in him really.

Jacob swung his legs and tilted his head back to study the stars. “They seem so far away.”

“The stars?” He too gazed upwards and smiled slightly, “Yes, they do. Can’t believe that people like Jack and Ianto have been out there, can you?”

He shook his head and sighed, his gaze drifting over to the house. A smile quirked his lips and he pointed with one foot, “Look what I found.”

From a first floor window, a familiar flag flew. Jack yelled in delight and reached up to encourage Jacob down from his branch, tugging on the coat and on Jacob’s ankle until the lithe form crashed down onto him, knocking him over and pinning him to the floor, both of them now covered by the heavy wool coat and laughing uproariously. He wrapped his hands around Jacob’s neck and pulled him down for a brief moment of silence, then pushed them both up and ran over to stand below the Jolly Roger. Jacob followed him at a more leisurely pace and leaned against the wall, watching him in amusement. “Sometimes, Jack, I think you’re a bit too attached to that thing.” He scoffed and grabbed onto pulled himself to stand on the windowsill. Jacob frowned, “Erm, why are you going up the wall?”

“What, you think I could turn into a bat and get it?” He looked down at Jacob, then launched himself for the next handhold, “Don’t be daft.”

“Erm, stairs?”

He laughed again, “I repeat, don’t be daft. Jack wouldn’t make it that easy.” Jacob wandered off to let him concentrate, for which he was grateful from the first floor up where it got more difficult. He’d just got within reach when the bandana was pulled back suddenly, back through the window. With a snarl, he pulled himself up to the window and found Jacob dangling the bandana in front of him and wearing nothing but a smirk.

“Jack made it that easy.”

Jack glared at him for a moment, then snatched the Jolly Roger and tied it in place. “what did you do with Jack’s coat?”

Jacob shrugged and nodded out of the window, “Scarecrow.” Jack nodded his approval. “Two doors down.”

“Jack Saturday!” Blinding grins, door locked, blinds down; Bed suddenly messy.