I think GDL was just being a child, and it seems that MD has had that nickname for a while, he was there at the end of filming, it could even have been then. I agree that it seems GDL and JB had 14 year old levels of mucking about on set, I mean once you know they texted each other photos of their erections with "you're my bitch" as the message, you really can't expect too much. So I tend to think it's all in good fun, let's face it GDL never behaved oddly about playing Ianto, the way some straight actors do if they play a gay part. (Like the awful chap who played Jack's one night stand in MD )

However I found myself feeling very uncomfortable at the bullying of the air steward. Then the joke about Jack infecting people with gayness. Apart from anything else it's an incredibly dodgy joke after all the years of HIV and the stigma.

So I don't think you are being oversensitive about the way the show is, because I think it is homophobic, and one thing I can't bear is this argument that RTD can't be homophobic, it's crap, people from any group can still be prejudiced.

Don't forget in the first episode of DW with Chris Eccles, Rose says to the Doctor "you're so gay" as an insult. RTD wrote that line.